you know, i used to believe in love
i used to believe in happily ever after
in love at first sight
in soul mates
i used to think one day i'd find someone and they'd be all i need
i used to think i would be swept off of my feet and i'd get married and i'd fall in love for all of eternity
but
i can't remember a time where my father ever loved my mother
or a time when he loved anyone for that matter
and my mother obviously didn't care enough about us, because she has several families now
she's been married three times
told three people she'd love them for all of eternity
and now i have 3 half siblings
and i remember a time when i was in the 8th grade
i dated a boy
and i told him i loved him
and just like my parents, i didn't actually give a damn
so i left
and i remember a time when a boy loved me
and i was sure i had feelings for him
but as i felt myself fall out of love
i watched his heart break
now here i am
in love with someone who doesn't give a damn about me
and just like my mother, i know it's going nowhere
but i keep pushing towards something that doesn't exist
and as i watch people around me fall in and out of love, i start to wonder
how can people vow such a vow,
promise such a promise,
as love,
even though it seems it doesn't exist?
look around
watch the widows re-marry, as if their spouse never existed
watch the parents leave each other and start other families
watch the spouse's have affairs, then fight over who owns what
watch the teenagers break hearts, relentlessly one after the other
and then have the audacity to tell and innocent, believing child that love exists
because when that child grows up, it's going to break their heart to find out that it doesn't.
