The Big Book of Banter

7

I opened my suitcase and pulled out my bants, along with my banties. Pulling them on, I let the elastic snap against my waist. I chucked on a shirt and a hoodie on top - don't want to be cold at the drinks I'm heading to. With one last stop at the mirror to check myself out, I left my house and drove straight to my mate Michael's house. He's an absolute ledge.

My beers clinked around on the passenger seat
I groaned from my lack of something to eat
'Eating is cheating' said all of the lads
But without my chicken, I think I'll go mad
I pulled into kfry, parking my car
I wished that nandos wasn't so far
The chicken looked good but the server looked better
I said 'hey darl' even though I just met her
She had a big look of disgust on her face
'Wow' I thought, she has shitty taste
I flipped her off and got back in my Nissan
Man she don't have a clue what she's missing
When I saw the boys later I told them with a grin
"She looked like she'd just got out of the bin"