Promiscuity • a.u • Robbie Kay

~Seven~

(Song for this chapter is Madison by Ola Gjeilo)

It all seemed a blur.

One moment, I was downstairs enjoying a glass of wine more than the festivities and the next I sat upon my bed as Mr. Kay's large fingers drew out every small pin that adorned my head.

He vanished.

Why had he not taken advantage of me as he so easily could have done?

I had practically invited him underneath my sheets and when Lillian charged in chipper and welcoming the day with such a smile, I groaned; disgusted and heavy with deep regret.

"Must you shout so?" I spat, shielding my eyes from the light that shot harshly through my window.

"You have a bit of explaining to do, miss. Luckily, I know how to keep secrets." she smiled, though her words were those of a mother.

She picked up my evening gown from the floor and hung it over her arm. "It's a wonder how you got the back undone with my help."

To this, I said nothing for she very well suspected that it was Mr. Kay.

"And how on earth you managed to take out every single pin from your hair."

"Lillian, you know very well I am not the sort to give into Mr. Kay's.. concupiscence!" I said, pulling myself in an upward position though my head pounded like a second heart beat.

"Neither are the other ladies he's taken to bed. Especially after a bit of drink."

I kept my hand over my eyes. "Would you mind?" I demanded impatiently, blindly waving in the direction of my window and hurriedly she scurried to close the curtains. "He simply helped me into bed. Nothing at all transpired between the two of us, I assure you."

"Whatever you say, Miss Mira."

A moment later, my breakfast was brought before me though I had little appetite. I ate slowly, thinking of a way to approach Mr. Kay about the night before. I could tell him that it was simply the wine speaking and that I meant nothing that I said the night before, but that would dishonest.

Truthfully, I had not told him a single lie, and that was most embarrassing. Surely he knew that drunken words were our most honest.

Though, something kept me from considering speaking to him about the events of last night. He could have very well slept with me and only I would be the one to blame, yet he did not.

He is much too wise.

Certainly, word would have spread somehow ruining his reputation and my own. He would no longer be considered a noble gentlemen for taking advantage of a girl who had had a tad too much to drink.

But just so, I liked to believe that he chose not to, not simply for his own image, but out of respect.

If I did not mention it at all to him, ignoring the event as if it had never happened, he may assume that I truly desire him in the way that I expressed. But if I confronted him, dismissing the things I had said, his idea of what I truly thought of him would be set straight.

Finally, I agreed that I would speak to Mr. Kay privately and express to him that I was not interested in him and as he remained in my household, I would not be involved with his philandering.

But all at once I remembered the exhilarating feeling of his hands grazing my skin and of his breath against my neck.

Perhaps, my own curiosity got the best of me when suddenly, I found myself not wanting to approach the subject of my involvement with Mr. Kay's philandering. Perhaps, I did desire him.