Promiscuity • a.u • Robbie Kay

~Twenty-Two~

I was in a haze.

It was like my body had been separated from my mind.

My body stood arm in arm with my fiancé, thanking those that showed up to the party and mingling with mother's friends, while my mind rested in the hands of Robbie Kay. I could think of nothing else than the encounter in the garden as it replayed over and over in my mind, and though I tried, I couldn't bring myself to feel guilty about kissing him.

He had stayed longer than I anticipated and decided to make an appearance during the conversation. I knew exactly why. In a way, it was to bother Arthur, pretending that the afternoon in the bar had never happened and continuing the positively chipper attitude that all three of us knew was a façade.

In another way, it was to torture me. He loved watching me pretend that I had not just given into him. He loved watching me squirm, and putting on a smile as if our bodies had not just been wrapped in each other's grasp. He loved the tension. He lived for it.

I would never tell Arthur about what had happened, and it perplexed me deeply wondering just what Robbie and I were. I was marrying Arthur, not Robbie, and though he had broken me in a way that many would deem unforgiveable, I craved him truly and passionately. Why must such a disgusting man have such power over me?

But I could not forget his words. His whisper against my ear, engraved in my mind and pestering me so deeply that I could think of only his voice. I cannot rid of you, he'd said.

How on earth could I know what he meant? I'd learned better than to assume, and even better not to approach him about it.

After I was married, would I ever even see him again? I would no longer be at Bramsey and apart from the occasional dinner party or large gathering, there would be no reason to continue any kind of relationship with him. Friendship, or otherwise.

But still, I could not leave his eyes. Yes, catching his gaze was dangerous, but they drew me in so unconsciously and so painfully, that it felt like poison.

Yet though his eyes, like venom, were harsh and seemingly distasteful, that bit of mischief that had been hidden beyond them for so long, had peeked it's roaring head, like a spark into flame, and instantly, I smiled.

"Sweet, since Mr. Kay doesn't seem to be occupied with business for the time being, wouldn't it be smart to have your piano lesson after the festivities are over? It does seem like such a long time since you've had one." my mother approached me as people started to say their goodbyes.

"Who's to say he isn't still busy, mother? Perhaps, we should reschedule when Mr. Kay is done with organizing his plans." I stated, my voice growing a tad tremulous. Arthur remained reserved, his brittle grin never faltering.

"Mr. Kay!" my mother called to him.

He had been speaking with Varney when he turned at the sound of his name, a lazy smirk set on his face. He excused himself and approached us, his arms folded behind him with hands grasping his elbows. "Ms. Devereaux." he greeted.

"I was just telling Mirissa how long it's been since you've had one of your piano forte lessons. I do so miss hearing them. However awful she is at it." she chuckled.

He turned to me, his smirk broadening. "I'd have to disagree respectfully, Ms. Devereaux. She is quite wonderful."

"It is quite late. I'm sure Mr. Kay has time another day. I've barely had time to spend with you, dear. We've spent nearly all afternoon apart." Arthur said, lacing our fingers and kissing my knuckles as he so often did.