Promiscuity • a.u • Robbie Kay

~Eleven~

He left me.

Within a moment, he had unlocked the door, said goodnight to my parents, and his footsteps were heard clunking up the stairs.

I straightened my gown and robe, and used my reflection in the window to fix my mess of red hair, before I exited the library and tried slip unnoticed up the stairs to my room.

"Mirissa."

Bullocks

I turned around with a word, already knowing I was to be lectured.

"What in the name of God almighty, made you believe it was appropriate to speak that way?"

"I-"

"No, you listen here. You humiliated your father and myself. How dare you speak of intimacy and pester Mr. Bailey all night with such questions!" my mother scolded.

"Is it so wrong for a woman to speak her feelings?! Am I not to understand a man before allowing him to pursue me?" I cried.

"You are different, Mirissa! If you were like other girls, perhaps you would have a choice in who you allow to pursue you!"

My heart dropped beneath my feet.

"You mean, if I was someone like Lavinia Branum?" I questioned, clamping my eyes shut to keep from crying.

To this, they said nothing.

"Woman cannot have such ideas, don't you see? In this day and age, a woman of your background is to be chosen and bring happiness to herself and her husband, and that is all." she lowered her voice, as if feeling a bit guilty for bashing me upside the head. Now I understand how you truly feel.

"Then perhaps I will go into business with Uncle, that or I shall die an old maid. At least then I would not be altered of my views or shut up by a man who wishes me to be silent." I spat, my cheeks wet with tears.

"We live in a man's world, Mirissa. It's time for you to grow up and get your head out of the clouds." my father's voice was low and intimidating and I knew right away by the look behind his eyes, that he was disappointed.

•••

"I can't understand it, Varney. I've never been so ashamed in my life."

My head rest against his shoulder, late hours into the night as my tears stained his shirt.

The others had gone to bed, but I was too furious, too hurt.

He wrapped his arm around me, letting me cry as I needed to and speaking to me as if he were my closest girl friend.

"I know, Mira. It wasn't right of them to say." he said, resting his chin atop my head. "What they think about you doesn't matter anyways. They're old hags, like I said."

To this, I giggled, wiping away my tears. "One day you're going to call them that in front of their very faces without even meaning too and I'll be there laughing at you."

"If that's what it takes to see you smiling again, I'll go right across the hall right now and call them old hags a hundred times over." he chuckled.

"Times are changing, Varney. Why can't they see that? Why do they underestimate me so?" I asked.

"Shh, Mira. Listen to me, love, you can't change yourself for them, alright? Now, look at Mr. Bailey. He's a fine, bright, handsome man if I ever knew one and he certainly fancies you. Not because you're Lavinia Branum or Audrey Carter, but because you're Mirissa Devereaux."