Promiscuity • a.u • Robbie Kay

~Nineteen~

For the good of everyone, I thought

For the good of my family, and for Mr. Kay, and perhaps the good of me in due time, I accepted his proposal though a heaviness rested at the pit of my being and I could not make my smile feel genuine as I announced to the family that Arthur and I were to marry. His unfamiliar hand caressed the small of my back, startling me and causing me to jump.

"My darling child, you will be beautifully happy. I could not hope for a more blessed future." my mother gushed with teary eyes and glowing cheeks.

Emory rushed toward me with open arms, entrapping me in a less than gentle hug. "How happy he should make you, Mira." she whispered. I could not help but notice the pattern. He will make me happy, in the future, rather than the present, they implied.

They could all see it. They knew that my heart was not with it as I attempted to fall in love with a man I barely knew.  Mr. Bailey on the other hand was quite oblivious, beaming as hard as ever and blinded by his affections.

There was a painful tug that kept my eyes from the vicinity of one man in the room. I could not bring myself to gaze upon him or look into his eyes to see the expression they held. Was he relieved now? Could he see the disappointment in my smile, or the lack of love behind my eyes? Surely he could. He was not so dense.

It was not until he stood, stepping toward me, that our eyes locked and he presented the classic smug, rat-like grin that I knew all too well. Of course, he is pleased.

"I wish you the best, both of you. I would love to stay and celebrate but, I'm afraid I have business to attend to in town that simply cannot wait." he shook Arthur's hand, then taking my hand into his own, he planted the most gentle of kisses atop my hand, leaving the library at once, without another look behind him.

"Of course, we must celebrate! We must have a party to announce your engagement." my mother clapped her hands together. "This will be the engagement of the century, I can tell you."

She was more than thrilled, knowing soon her family would be climbing the social ladder I tried my best to get off of, which is nearly impossible when your mother is right behind you pushing you along with her whole life devoted to making certain you reached the top..

•••

A garden party was scheduled and practically everyone we knew was sent invitations. As far as I could tell, hundreds of people would be attending.

"Mira, isn't it beautiful? I'm soon to marry Varney and you, my dear, to Mr. Bailey. It seems like only yesterday we were playing mummy to our dolls and now, I'll truly be one." Emory took both hands into hers and her eyes welled with tears. She was always quite emotional about these sort of things, but I just smiled at her.

"Don't you start crying, now!" I scolded, chuckling as she brushed her tears away with the back of her hand.

"I feel like floating, Mir. I really, truly do. I could not have felt this way if it weren't for you." she thanked, kissing my hands.

"Oh, now. I can't take credit for anything." I sighed. "Emory?"

"Yes, puppet?"

"I do wish I feel the way you felt." I pulled my hands back from hers, looking down at my shoes with as sweet a smile as I could manage, though even that felt quite pitiful. "I keep telling myself that I will love him. I care for him in my own way, and I greatly admire him, but I don't feel.." I stopped, searching for the right word.

"Complete."

Emory clicked her tongue empathetically, drawing me into her arms and squeezing me tightly. "You will, I know it. He is perfect for you."

Though I did not believe her words, I kissed her head and smiled.

We both stood, leaving her room and whisking down the stairway to the front gardens. Varney and Arthur stood admiring his motor car when Emory grabbed Varney, practically knocking him over as they both giggled, him attempting to steady her. "Hello, dear husband." she beamed.

"Nearly." he told her, with cheeks bright and a light that I had never noticed. Varney and Emory intended to marry in only a couple of weeks.

"Sickening how sweet they are, isn't it?" Arthur joked, turning to me and taking my hand. "How are you, darling?"

He'd spent nearly all his time since his proposal at Bramsey, taking walks with me and staying for dinner. He had a growing friendship with my cousin and loved to politely discus politics and events with my father.

It had only been a few days, and though Mr. Kay lived only a few doors down from my bedroom, I had not seen him. "He is quite busy with his country home, you know. It's no wonder he spends most time in town these past few days." my mother stated, working on her embroidery last evening.

He'd come home after we'd all gone to bed, his heavy steps coming up the stairs and going past my bedroom nearly every night. One night I'd sworn they stopped right in front of my door, but after a few silent seconds, they continued down to his room.

But he is happy, isn't he? The ends have all been tied and he is free to do as he pleases once more. Perhaps, avoiding me completely was what made him happiest.

"Mirissa, you really must stop day-dreaming. It's an awful habit, you know." Emory stated, quite obviously annoyed.

"I do apologize." I grinned. "What did you say?"

"Arthur asked to take you for a ride." she laughed. "We're all going into town to take Mr. Kay some sandwiches and some important documents he left behind this morning. It was Varney's idea."

My stomach dropped and I couldn't hide the redness that came across my cheeks. "Oh. Really, I'm not up to it."

"You aren't scared of the car are you, darling? Would you believe it? My courageous, adventurous lover is scared to ride in the motor car." Arthur teased. Varney gazed at me, trying to read my expression and somehow I felt that he knew, the motor car was the least of my fears.

"You aren't!" Emory laughed. "Come on, Mir. Please!"

I was hesitant for a moment. Surely, Arthur would notice something was wrong if Robbie and I continued to avoid each other. We must at least be pleasant to one another. "Well, alright. If my company is loved so desperately, I'll go."

Varney and Emory went inside for the things to bring to Mr. Kay and I was left alone with Arthur for a moment.

"You'll love riding in it. You'll have to. This will be our new form of transportation." he brought our laced hands to his mouth and kissed my hand. A sweetness lingered in his eyes and in the moment, I felt that he wanted me to be honestly and genuinely happy. He found my day-dreaming something to love and hadn't once made me feel trapped beneath the weight of a 'man's world', as my parents had once called it. It was then that I really truly believed he was in love with me and in my own way, I began to love him too..

•••

A/N

Oh my goodness you guys. I'm back. I cant believe I gave up on this story, but I have fresh ideas and a new fire for writing.

Would you believe Robbie was filming not even an hour from my town a few weeks ago? They needed extras but you had to be at least 21 so I wasn't able to be in it. So close to actually meeting him UGH

So heres the next chapter and I really have missed you guys terribly.

Let me know what you think.

Thank you so much

love love love