a real boy [taekook]

6;

(ok so this is pretty much just the story of how jungkook got too where he was today so like???? hes pretty much telling this story to tae ok yea idk its badly written

also disclaimer things are different for like every trans person so jungkook's experience could be different from someone else's

also tw; suicide and transphobia)

     Jungkook had not once in his entire life considered himself a girl. He listened to his parents, who said he was a girl, but to him it was just a label. There was once at his 7th birthday party his parents had bought him a doll set, which he wasn't totally upset about because it was still a pretty damn cool toy, but he really wanted that iron man figure he saw. He was disappointed his parents wouldn't let him play the way he wanted too. His childhood consisted a lot of him and his older brother, their adventures in their backyard and nights sat in front of the T.V. watching cartoons. While he had loved his parents, there wasn't a perfect memory of them that had stuck out like his brother when he was young.

     He was 12 when his parents divorced, his dad high-tailing it from the scene leaving his mom an emotional wreck. His brother was 15, and was hit the hardest, believing it was all his fault. Jungkook's brother was never blamed for what happened, he never had anything to do with it; but the human mind works like a mess, always functioning to put the most negative blame on yourself. He was young and he couldn't handle it. The last time Jungkook saw his brother was when he was putting on his shoes by the doorway, "I'm going for a walk," He had said, "I love you. Please tell mom I'm sorry."

     Jungkook was 14 when his mother started having money troubles, unable to support her and her son in the house they owned. They moved to a more run-down area of town, into a small two bed one bath apartment. It wasn't much, but it was home.

     He was nearly 15 when he realized how much he hated his body. He never noticed it before, but now it stuck out to him like a sore thumb, ruining his daily mood. How much he hated his name and his voice and his mind. He was 15 when it finally hit him one day; 'Girl' was no longer a label he wanted assigned to him, it wasn't a label he had ever wanted on him.

     He was 17 when he dropped out of highschool to help work full time and pay for the bills that had been piling up. The stress and negativity had been wearing down his mom, the lines more evident in her face. Jungkook had figured it was probably a bad time, but he couldn't hide such a big part of his life. When he came out to his mom, she didn't yell or scream or hit him. She strolled out the door and didn't come back for two days. When she did come back, she came back with a pack of cigarettes and a bottle of wine. While she never voiced it, Jungkook knew he was a disappointment to her. She wasn't the same after that.

     When Jungkook first attempted suicide, he took an entire bottle of his mom's sleeping pills. She had found the empty bottle on the counter, and Jungkook passed out on the bathroom floor. The second and the third hadn't worked out in his favor either. They never did. He wanted to die, he swore he did, but something always fucked up. He was a failure at everything, including killing himself.

     When he turned 18, Jungkook started testosterone as soon as he could. Immediately, his mood towards himself switched around. He had never felt so confident with himself. Of course, he still felt shitty a lot but that was bound to happen. He was getting better, and he knew he'd finally get to where he wanted one day. Jungkook payed for all of his medical procedures himself, it was a lot of work, but at the age of 21 he was doing pretty good. His mother was still ignoring his progress and referring to him as his birth name, but he wouldn't let her ruin it. He was finally looking the way he wanted too, tall and muscular, with a sharp jaw and broad shoulders.

     Jungkook had a crush on the cute boy from the food court. Luckily, said boy was there almost everyday working at the over-priced chinese food counter. It took Jungkook two weeks to pick up the courage to invite him out for a drink, to which he accepted. He was sweet and cute and Jungkook thought he had the softest hair and the cutest smile and wow he was a good kisser. Somehow the two had made it to the bar's bathroom, sucking face as cute boy trailed his hands up Jungkook's shirt.

     "Before we go any farther- I need to tell you I'm... I'm transgender? Sorry, I should've told you sooner or something..." Jungkook had confessed quietly, breaking eye contact from cute boy. Cute boy pushed himself away from Jungkook, a look of disgust crawling across his face. "If I wanted to make out with a girl I'd be straight," He spat, leaving Jungkook without another word.

-

     "That was fairly recent, and I was scared how'd you'd react so I ran away and wow I just spilled my entire life story to you oh my god I didn't mean to tell the entire thing sorry-"

     He was cut off by the warm hug Taehyung enveloped him in, and that was when Jungkook realized he'd been crying.

     "I'm sorry you had to go through that, Jungkook. I still like you though. You can't get rid of me that easily." Taehyung chuckled, burying his face in Jungkook's neck.

     "Thank you Taehyung." Jungkook sniffed, pulling away and wiping his eyes with his sweatshirt sleeve. "Sorry I'm an ugly crier."

     "Is there a such thing as an attractive crier?" Taehyung mused, falling backwards onto his bed, sprawling out. Taehyung could sense Jungkook was uncomfortable enough as is, and he didn't seem like the type of person who needed to be coddled to feel better, so he thought it would be best to change the topic. The elder reached out and intertwined their hands together, flashing a bright smile at Jungkook. "So... How about a date tomorrow?"

     "I get off at 6, If you want to meet me there we can go out for coffee."

     "Can we make out again before you go home?"

     "Hell yeah."

(wow that was rough if u read thru all of that congrats buddy)