Indulgence (Incomplete)

Sister Sister

"What's wrong with you?" Jamie asked flipping through her menu. She noticed Jennifer had been different lately and decided to take her out to eat to cheer her up.

"Nothing why." Jennifer barely put in an effort to read the menu or be present.

"I don't know, maybe because you've been in a funk for about a week, drowning the house in your negative energy." Jamie rolled her eyes.

"Sounds personal Jamie." She stared blankly at her phone, reading all the unanswered texts from Derrick.

"I know something's wrong, so quit being a bitch and tell me." Just then the waitress walked by and placed water on the table, with an awkward smile.

Jennifer took a deep breath, running her hand through her hair. "Okay."

"Have you ever liked someone you weren't supposed to?"

"Uh, yeah remember Lauren's brother Thomas? I had a big crush on him but I dated his friend in high school so you know, it was a no go." Jamie answered.

"No, like someone you knew would be an issue if you dated them." Her voice was tense.

"No. Jen what's this about?" The waitress came back again, they placed their orders and continued the conversation.

"I think I like a boy." She put covered her face with both her hands.

"Oh."

"Yeah." Jennifer peeked through her fingers.

"Derrick?"

"Who else?" Jennifer snapped

"Chill out. So what if you like him?"

"Um. I'm gay just in case that wasn't clear." She sat back fidgeting with a napkin.

"You can't really control who you're attracted to Jen you know that."

"I know, I just; I don't know I'm really struggling. Because there's Aaryn and the fact he kissed me."

"He kissed you?"

Jennifer nodded her head, her eyes started to water.

"Don't cry."

"You don't get it." their food came and they sat in silence while eating.

Jennifer was trying to get ahold of her emotions. She was well aware that men dating women was normal, but it wasn't her normal. Her friends wouldn't get it, her parents would just shrug it off as a phase, and she honestly didn't know if she could handle that.

Derrick was a nice guy, and his personality is what she was drawn to. It could be easy, they could work, and that was the scary part. Being with a man.

She didn't know anything about being with men. Sure the basics were the same, but what about the physical? Could she be sexually attracted to him? Could she open herself up and allow that to happen? She had never been with a man in that sense. It was all foreign. And what did that mean about her? If she could be with a man now could she be with one later? Did that mean she wasn't a lesbian? It was too much, and exactly why she didn't want this to happen.

"This doesn't change who you are Jen." Jamie reached across the table to touch her hand.

"Yes it does." Jennifer got up from the table and walked out.

Jamie quickly paid the bill and went after her sister. She found her sitting in the car waiting. When she got in the car she reached over and hugged her. Jennifer finally broke down. Letting out body shaking sobs. Jamie held her tighter. Her sister was falling apart and she didn't know how to save her.

"I love you." Jamie gently said.

"You have to. You're my sister." Jennifer half laughed wiping her eyes.

"Probably; I think I choose to though."

Jennifer took a deep breath, and looked at her sister.

"So he kissed you?" she beamed while pulling off.

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