Indulgence (Incomplete)

Denial is not just a river in Egypt

Jennifer put her headphones in and turned the music up. AYO by Lolawolf was playing. Her feet barely touching the ground as she tried to out run her issues. She ran until her ribs felt like they were stabbing her, till it hurt to breathe, she ran until her skin was soaked in sweat, hoping it was enough to purify herself of the past week. Finally she stopped. She sat on the edge of a curb and threw her head back eyes closed rolling her head from side to side. When she opened her eyes there was Derrick.

She looked puzzled. "I'm starting to think you have stalker like tendencies."

"I'm not stalking you."

"Feels like it, how did you know where to find me?"

"Right place right time I guess."

"You wouldn't happen to have water on you?"

"Nah, but we could go get some if you want." He was hoping for any chance to make it up to her.

"Yeah, okay." Derrick helped Jennifer up.

"So about the other day." He ran his hand across his head

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to disrespect you."

"It's cool, just forget it happened" If only she could do the same

"Yeah, it didn't mean anything, I –"

"Exactly it didn't so let's just not even stress it." she cut him off, as they walked into the corner store.

Derrick wasn't expecting her to jump so quickly at dismissing the moment, maybe he was wrong, maybe she didn't like him, and he was making things weird. Prying for information wasn't going to make him feel any better, but neither was pretending nothing happened.

She grabbed a bottle of water and ordered a sandwich. "Are you getting anything?" she looked up at him.

"No I ate already."

"Give me five dollars" she held her hand out.

"Um okay" he pulled his wallet out. "I only have twenties." He gave one to her.

She paid for her food then gave him back the change.

"Thanks." She flashed him a smile and continued walking.

"Wait, where are you going?" he followed after her.

"To live my life" she said answering some text messages.

"So you're just gonna dine and dash on me?"

"Uh, yeah. Catch you on the flip side" she waved goodbye.

When Jennifer no longer saw him, she shook her head.

"What are you thinking Jen? Everything is not okay." She exhaled and went home.

As Jennifer walked through the door, she was greeted by her sister.

"He kissed you?" She said with wide yearning eyes.

"Not this." She rolled her eyes.

"Come on. You gotta spill." She got up and followed her.

"I need to shower, I smell like ass."

"True, and tell me everything."

"Fuck off Jamie, I don't wanna go there."

She started to get undressed. Ignoring her sister who was sitting her on her bed waiting for details.

"Yes he kissed me and no I didn't kiss him back. No I didn't want to either." She got in the shower leaving the door open.

"Why not?"

"Because we're friends, and I'm gay."

"Yes, okay, but there's something there. You said it yourself." Jamie flushed the toilet.

"Did you just pee?" Jennifer stuck her head out the shower before jumping away from the changing water.

"My bad" she laughed.

"I mean, yeah he's a good guy, we have a lot in common, and I like his company, why ruin a good thing though?"

"Wouldn't it be acting on a good thing?"

"No, because I can't give him what he needs."

"What do you think he needs?"

"Someone he could actually sleep with, maybe marry one day, I don't know someone who isn't a lesbian." She turned the water off and got out.

"I never knew you were so hung up on labels."

"I'm not I'm just I don't know, worried that people won't think I'm a real lesbian if I even showed interest in someone who's male."

"I say your genitals your rules, more power to you. Plus why not try it? You don't have to marry him or anything."

"He's not an experiment Jamie, I can't just use people like that, plus there's the issue of Aaryn." She walked to her room and threw a long shirt on.

"They're not real siblings, and I'm not a fan of her anyways."

"Blood doesn't make people family, and say it again for the hundredth time why don't you. Damn." Jennifer sat on her bed, and began to eat her sandwich.

"Whatever, wait how did you get food if I saw your wallet was on the counter?"

They made eye contact then Jennifer looked away.

"Next time tell Derrick I said hi." She smirked and walked away.

She did not like Derrick, she couldn't like Derrick...

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