Jacob Sartorius/ my first love

Chapter 5/ feelings

I didn't say anything this hour. Which is not typical for me. An Verena noticed that for sure. She basically knows everything about me and al my faces. Sad ones and happy ones. But I didn't even know how I felt. I couldn't describe it.

Finally the bell rang , and as fast as I could get my bag I ran to the toilets. I had to get a clear had and be sure about my feeling. I couldn't stand it, that a boy made me feel this way. I hated it.

While I was at the toilet Jacob and Verena had a talk.

J:" hey Verena, what happened to Julia? Is she always like that?  Have I done anything wrong ? " he asked with a shocked voice.

V:" I have no idea what's going on tbh. But she never acts like this... But it's definitely not your fault !! I'll go and ask her what's wrong. I'm pretty sure she won't tell me, but sometimes she has those moments when she just needs a hug. That's just Julia" she told him, grabbed her schoolbag and went to the toilet.

I was standing in front of the mirror and a tear ran down my cheek. My feelings just crashed inside me and I had no clue why I was crying.

Verena came up to me and asked me what's wrong. I couldn't tell her because I didn't know what was wrong. So I just said nothing. She took her schoolbag down and hugged me. Everytime she hugs me I feel so safe and happy. I don't know why but I'm so glad to have her. She is my better half and helps me in every situation.

She still hugged me and whispered into my ears that everything is going to be good and that I shouldn't worry .
The bell rang again, so we had to go to our next classes

Sport
I tried to forget about Jacob, but j couldn't. I was so beside me, the ball ether flew direct into my face or I caught it and that let it fall. Or I tripped over my own feet. The teacher. noticed, that I wasn't focused, so she told me to take a break and drink something. But i thought if I would drink or eat something I would threw up, cause my stomach was already full, full of feeling I couldn't control.