holding on ; hbr

Chapter 13 { moving on, not for long }

"hunter it's not like that I promise" I say feeling a tear roll down my cheek.
Hunter motions for the car to stop.
"get out y/n, I'm sorry I don't want you to see me cry." He opens the door for me and waits till I leave.

I stand on the side walk, under the pouring rain. rivers stream from my eyes. I had to call someone to pick me up. Zach, I press letting the ring tone repeat and repeat.
"Hey y/n what's up?" -Zach
"I    need    you    to    come    pick    me     up" I say between sniffles.
"What's wrong?"  he asks sounding genuinely concerned.
"I'll tell you when you get here" I say giving him the address.

When he arrives he gets out of the uber and pulls me into a warm hug, I was soaking, slowly transferring the water from me to him. my tears leave marks in his shirt. we sit in the car and he gives me his jacket to put on. with out even thinking I take off my wet shirt (😏💦) so I was just wearing my bra, and put the jumper on. I look over at Zach after just realising what I did and he looks at me, his cheeks flushing red.

We arrive back at his hotel, unfortunately the same hotel hunter was staying at...
We go back to Zachs room and he makes me and he makes me a hot
chocolate, adding little marshmallows and extra fluff to the top. He gives me a little kiss on the head, and a pair of his basketball shorts to replace my damp shorts with.
I explain to him what happened, and he pulls me into another hug, this time I felt closer to him, so close I could feel his warm breath on my neck. he slowly pecks my collar bone, moving up to my lips leaving little love marks. I knew this wasn't right, deep down I was still madly in love with hunter, but on the surface I needed beautiful release.
He pushes my hair behind my ears, and looks into my eyes.
"You are truly the most beautiful girl I've ever met" he says. his deep blue eyes glisten like the ocean as he smiles and runs his fingers through his hair.

I close my eyes feeling cold wet tears falling down my cheeks. My chest stung. staggering jolts of pain ran up and down my body. I clench my fists, biting my lip. I hold back the screams, the anger, the horrible realisation of loss. I breathe out a long breath and release the pain, knowing that there was still more locked away in a cage of emotions deep down in my dark soul.
"I fucked up zach" I say, my head was racing, full of thoughts and memories. beautiful peaceful memories.
"we all make mistakes y/n, and this was my mistake, I was the one who kissed you at that meet and greet" he blames himself, but I know that it was my fault, it was my fault that my first love, my first kiss, my first and only friend, doesn't want to be around me.

the feeling is unbearable. words can't explain what thoughts I was thinking, what memories I was putting my self through, making me replay them in my mind.
I get up and explain to Zach that I'll be back later, not even thinking about the clothes of his I was wearing. I storm to hunters room and unlock it, with the room key I still had in the back of my phone case.

Hunter sat on his bed, his face in his hands, loud crys hit me hard in the chest. he looks up, eyes red.
"Hunter let me expl-" before I could finish he pulled me into a hug, he pushes his lips against mine, kissing me passionately.
"I don't care about the explanation y/n, I fucking love you. you made a mistake, so did I, the mistake of losing you, even if it was just for a short time, it was the worst mistake I ever made and I can't bare to put myself back through the pain again. y/n please be my baby girl again."

"I thought you'd never ask" I say kissing him again, he kisses back, lifting me up, I rap my legs around his waist, putting my back against the wall. he pulls his lips away from mine, looking into my eyes.
"I love you princess" he smiles.