holding on ; hbr

Chapter 30 { long talks }

Your Pov*

hunter grabs my hand and walks me upstairs, he walks over to his wardrobe and pulls out two suitcases from the back underneath piles and piles of clothes.

"here ya go beautiful" he says handing me a reasonable sized navy blue suitcase

"ill be back soon, ill just go get my stuff from my house" i say smiling and turning to walk out, but before i could hunter grabbed my hand and turned me around

"wait no, i want to come" he says weirdly

"why? its only next door, ill be no more then 15 minutes, chill" i say laughing

"yeah i know but just incase" he says picking up my suitcase in his left hand and intertwining our fingers in his right.

we begin to walk over to my house, but i stop at my doorstep, hunter stops too and turns to look at me

"what are you doing?" he asked

"what was your dream about last night hunter" i say curious, maybe it was the reason of all this weird behaviour

"its nothing" he says trying to hurry me along but i dont move

"hunter" i say, pulling him to a stop

"fine y/n, you really want to know, well i left you at home for one night and you killed yourself, yeah thats it..." he says looking to his feet

"what the hell" i say, holding up hunters chin so he looks me in the eyes

"why would you ever dream something like that, something must have triggered it?!" i say to him, i watch as tears fill in his eyes

"i dont want to talk about it" he says, blinking, the tears escape, trailing down his cheeks.

"hunter please" i say, dropping the suitcase and holding both his hands

"i know you started cutting again" he says all of a sudden with a gulp
"why y/n why?!! i love you so fucking much please dont do this to me. it hurts me so bad even i think about cutting and you know i would never do that" he says, breaking into tears, ive never seen him this sad. it makes me scared, how could I have caused this?

"hunter im sorry... im sorry im not good enough" i say releasing my hands from his and rolling up my sleeves.

i reveal 11 fresh cuts on each arm, all done last night.

"im sorry i let you down. im sorry i couldnt keep my promise and stop, but the truth is, it makes it all better, even though it hurts so bad, it seems to make the pain and hate go away, even if its only for a few seconds. i feel useless because i cant keep a fucking promise to the love of my life" i say

"y/n" i begins, wiping the tears from my cheeks "you never let me down, you keep me up, when i jump straight into the deep end, and im drowning, you are the one that keeps me afloat, with out you y/n im nothing" he says laughing pathetically. "its stupid really" he says shaking his head "i wouldnt be half the person i am if i had never met you, you were the one that showed me younow, you were the one that gave me all my opportunities i have today. with out you y/n i would be no where, and i can't thank you enough." he says grabbing onto my hands "and i want you to know that whenever you cut please tell me straight away, i want to know whats wrong, because i want to help. i believe in you, you can make it through this princess, you are worth it, and you and i both know it." he says smiling

i say nothing, just pull him into a kiss, pushing his soft lips against mine, i feel his hands in my hair, and my arms wrap around his waist

"i love you hunter" i say smiling between kisses

"i love you more" he says

"no way booty hole" i say

"yah huh" he says pull away from the kiss and snapping his fingers

"oh you wanna go huh?" i say laughing

"yuh! square up baby, lets go" he says pulling up his fists infront of his face, we both laugh

"but in all seriousness i love you more" i say putting on a straight face

"oh come here beautiful" he says, smashes his lips against mine again.

WOW THIS CHAPTER GOT TURT AF 😂