holding on ; hbr

Chapter 18

TRIGGER WARNING GUYS (this is a deep chapter)

*A few days later*

Weston has been staying at Olivias the past couple days as i couldnt bare to let any one see me like this.

every single day i sit at hunters desk and wondered whether i deserve to live any longer. I think todays the day, but it never happens.

I sat in the kitchen of hunters house, i looked out the window, watching the drops of rain race each other to the bottom of the window sill. the sky was dull explaining my mood, unhappy.

i slouch up the stairs and approach hunters closet. i scan my eyes over the shelfs above looking for the video camera. i find it and grasp the cold black handle, pulling in out of its case.

i sit it down on hunters desk facing it towards myself. I pace back downstairs fetching a worn rope from the garage and taking it back up.

i decided that using a rope was the best choice, fast and silent. i wrap it around the ceiling fan, making a knot.

i pull hunters chair out from his desk and stand on it, wrapping the rope around my neck, securing it tight, there was no going back.

i grasp the remote that linked to the camera in my left hand, ring finger on the record button. i press.

i watch as the bright red light flickers upon my eyes.

" hunter rowland. i love you. you are my gardian angle. im sorry i couldnt save you or myself. "

were those my last words? i thought lifting one foot of the ground. i feel cold wet tears trickle down my cheeks.

" goodbye "

i mouth to the camera, pressing the off button and dropping the remote.

i push over the chair with the foot i still had on the ground. leaving me drifting in the air, my legs swaying back and forth like i was on a swing.

it began to hurt, breathing hurt, blinking hurt, everything hurt.

this was it.

no going back now.

my eyes burn from staying open and my head aches, but in all the chaos i begin to hear the door handle turning. i turn my head the slightest bit and realise it was opening.

my eyes set upon a white figure, my eyes were glassy with tears, i could only make out a blurry shape of a boy. he the person who was about to save my life, and i was only just beginning to ruin theirs.

i watch as the boy run towards me in two big strides, grabbing hold of my legs, setting me free.

" NO " i scream
" I WANT TO DIE " my throat burns in absolute anger, it feels like i was swallowing blades and i could taste the blood filling up my stomach and rising into my mouth.

my body drops to the floor, limp and weak. my breathing slows down but i knew today wasnt the day that life was going to end.

i look up at the figure, his face in his palms, i still couldnt quite make out who it was, but he stopped me from doing what i needed... and in some way i knew deep down he did the right thing.

im sorry for the REAL DEEP chapter guys, who do u think the boy is ?
PROMISE EVERY THING WILL BE HAPPY AGAIN STICK AROUND :)))