Two faced Lover 》M.C.

Epilogue

Sam POV

One week. Seven days. 10,080 minutes. That was how long it had been since I lost Michael.

Today was the funeral. I couldn't go to it. I just couldn't. No matter how hard I tried to force myself out of bed and get ready, I couldn't.

The wake the night before had drained everything out of me. Tear stains covered my cheeks. I wasn't physically or mentally ready to see him in a casket being lowered into the ground.

I spent every waking moment thinking, 'Michael should be here. He's not dead. He can't be. He shouldn't be in a morgue. There shouldn't be a funeral. Michael is not dead.'

Calum and Luke came in my room around nine. They sat down on either side of me. I buried my face under the blanket as Calum stroked my hair. It only felt right when Michael did it.

"Sammy, you have to get ready. We leave in an hour," he said.

"No," I said, shaking my head.

"Sammy, please just get ready. You don't have to do your makeup or anything. Just take take a shower and get dressed. We need to go," Calum said.

"I'm not going," I said.

"Why not?"

"I can't, okay? Don't you get that? I can't!" I screamed at him before falling back down onto the sheets.

"Cal, let me talk to her. Get Daniel ready," Luke said.

"Okay. I'm sorry, Sam," Calum said and left to get my son ready for his father's funeral because I couldn't.

"Sammy, talk to me. Why can't you go to Michael's funeral?" Luke asked after Calum shut the door.

"He can't be dead. He shouldn't be dead. None of this seems real. I've spent the past week hoping and praying that I'll wake up and all of this will be a dream. It doesn't feel real. I'm not ready to say goodbye," I said as I began to cry for the thousandth time this week.

"Come here," Luke said and opened his arms.

I sat down in his lap and wrapped my arms around his neck. He rocked back and forth as I cried into his shoulder.

"Why did he have to die? I can't do this on my own!" I cried.

"Can't do what on your own?" Luke asked.

"Everything. I can't get up in the morning. I can't make breakfast or lunch or dinner. I can't take care of two kids. I can't do anything. I need him," I said.

"Sammy, you don't have to do any of that on your own. You have me. You have Ashton and Calum. You have your parents. You have so many people here to help you. Don't stress yourself out so much. I know it's hard right now. I get it, but it's going to get better. I promise," he said.

"I miss him, Luke."

"Missing someone is a part of loving them. If you're never apart, you'll never really know how strong your love is."

"But this isn't like when you went on tour and I didn't see him for a few months. This is permanent, Luke. I'm never going to see him again," I said.

"I know. None of us are, but we're going to get through this together," Luke said.

"How are you so strong through all of this?" I asked.

"The truth is, I'm not. I try to be strong for you and the guys, for my family, for the fans, but I break down every night. It is so damn hard, Sam. I force myself to carry on because there are people who need me. I have never been the strong one, but now I have to be. Ashton was always the strong one. You were too. You've always have been. You've been through so much the past couple of years with Michael, and your parents, and Daniel. You may have broken down a bit, but you got right back up again. Where's your strength now?"