(William Control) Kiss me, Judas

Part 9

We've been traveling for 4 hours now. We both haven't spoken to each other. William's eyes have been focused on the road, and I've been in my own world staring out of the window. I glanced my eyes over to the left of me, just to take a peek and see what his face wore. It was stone cold. I sighed to myself. It was dark, and the highway was very silent. I leaned my head into the corner of the door and the window. It was cold, but it also didn't matter. I closed my eyes and just listened to the car speed against the road underneath us.

I wondered what everyone was doing. How was my family, do they even bother worrying about me? These were the questions that ran through my mind when I was alone and sober for too long. I didn't enjoy remembering these thoughts. I felt nauseous in the pit of my stomach. I was starting to panic, and if I started to panic I would end up passing out. I tried my best not to let it be shown. I looked in William's ashtray in his car. I needed a smoke, I needed something to calm my nerves. I usually want to smoke more when I'm bare on the inside. It eases the panic.

I pulled out half of a smoked cig. I placed it to my lips and lit it with the lighter that was in the seat. I inhaled. The warm smoke circling through my lungs felt amazing at this moment. I held my head back and sighed out. William looked over at me with a concerned look on his face.

"Dear, are you alright?" I opened my eyes to meet his stare at me for a glance before his eyes moved back to the road.

"I am now." I answered quickly. The anxiety made me short. I flicked the ash off the tip into the ashtray. I took another breath, and let myself warm up again. William kept his eyes on the road and didn't further with the questions. I was sorta glad, I didn't feel like explaining myself at the moment. I saw the sky grow a little brighter every couple of minutes. It was finally getting a hazy green color and I knew daylight was before us. I rested my head against the window once again. I felt the small bumps that he hit, the tinged my temple. The anti-anxiety is gone, and I am just trying my best to faint. I start taking deep breaths hoping it would slow down and I could doze off. I feel the car slow down and come to a stop. I peeked my eyes open and saw we had just drove off to the side. The sky was getting an orange glow to it. I closed my eyes back and just rested.

I felt the car turn off and the seat beside me being adjusted. I sat silent not wanting to do or say anything to him. I didn't know what to say or do right now. I'm sure an hour as passed, and I'm sure he thinks I'm asleep. I roll my head to the side and see him with his head down; and his arms crossed together. He looked sweet in his sleep. I just stared for a moment and took in his beautiful features. His arched brows, his hair just a little over his face. The little things. I closed my eyes to his face, with that image forced into my eyelids. I accepted my heart flutters and smiled.