Haikyuu x Reader

Sugawara || Confessions

[because Suga is life and Suga is amazing and adorable and cute and my friends fav]

—

Sugawara was the kind of boy that everyone loved, he got along well with the teachers and students. Girls and boys blushed when he smiled and was always pulled away after clean up ended and before his volleyball practice, politely declining classmates's hearts. You, were one of those people. You don't know what it was that made you fall complete telly in love with him(you knew exactly why, he was sugawara koushi that's why). Others may have thought it stupid, but you never had the courage to confess. It was the way he smiled and he was carefree and gentle, and it turned your insides to mush and you wondered what would happen come the spring. When you both graduated and left, you had left from managing the girls volleyball team to focus on your studies, because it was important you got into a good university and had scholarships, you knew how expensive it was and your mother had told you from a young age that she wouldn't be able to help you much, but she would do what she could.

So you only smiled at him in the hallways, turned your face from him, and continued on your way.

It ached, of course it did, but you you used to it, for you, it was better to watch from a distance at the expense of your heart. You didn't think you could handle it, but he laughed too bright and he smiled widely, and he was showered in affection and assurance and it burned. You were on your way to the teachers office, notebooks in hand because it was your duty to bring them when class was over, and you froze as you turned a corner. Suga was bowed, the girl with her hand covering her mouth, eyes wide and you turned and walked away, not wanting to hear those words.

"I'm so so sorry, I cannot accept your feelings."

He always said it was such anguish and pain on his face, like it pained him, and you knew the gentle hearted Suga, it did. It hurt him because he hurt those boys and girls, shot down their courage and their feelings, and he knew how much he hurt them. You cleared your mind, adjusted the stack of notebooks, and went the long way to the teachers office. You opened the door with your foot, just as someone was coming in from the inside, and then he was there, and you stumbled backwards and he steadied you by a hand gentle on your arm. "Are you alright?" You could only blink owlishly and nod, and he moved to the side and let you in, and your heart raced but you did as you were supposed, the teacher handing you a candy because they knew how hard you had been working.

And you had been, but it wasn't enough.

It was the days following that were the hardest for you, it seemed every corner you turned, he was there and smiling. When taking out the trash after class, you saw him bowing in the same manner as he always did, the girls crying and the boys trying not to. It was a particular cold Thursday when you saw a girl take it too far. You watered the flowers when class ended, it was supposed to be a club you joined your first year, botany, but you were the only one who had signed up so you always took it upon yourself to water them, they were too pretty to wilt, even in the winter. You had been returning the watering can when you heard those words, the ones that haunted you, the ones that kept your feelings tucked inside your chest for no one else to see. "I'm so so sorry, I cannot accept your feelings." The girl was pretty, probably one of the prettiest in the entirety of the third year, and her face was contorted in pain and her hand raised, and the sound that shot out was deafening.

She ran away, and your eyes were wide, and your body didn't obey the words of 'walk away' as your footsteps increased and you rushed to the boy who was gritting his teeth, having been pushed back by the slap, unexpecting. Your feet failed you, halfway to him, and you just stared with wide eyes. He looked so pained, he must have bit his lip because there was blood and his hands wound into the dirt, and he cursed. You hadn't heard him say anything of that sort before, so you took a deep breath and kept your approach slow, cautious, your heart was racing and you didn't know what you were going to say but he snapped his head to you when you stood in front of him.

He blinked, and you breathed in, lungs and body shaking and you pulled the handkerchief from your pocket, patting down your uniform and crouching in the cold to offer it to him. "Sugawara?"
He took it with shaking hands, fingers brushing and you took in his appearance, uniform messy and hair tousled and his cheek was too red and his lip was split. "Aa, (l/n)." No honorific, and you swallowed hard as you stared at him. "I'm sorry."
"She shouldn't have hit you."
His eyes widened, cheeks going red and you blamed it on the cold, watching as he used your favourite handkerchief to wipe away the blood, you didn't mind, he could have it, and you didn't mind because it was your favourite. "You saw that?"
"I was putting..." You took a shaking breath, giving a weak smile. "I was putting away the watering can."
He laughed, the sound sad and pained as he wiped the blood, licking his lip because it was swollen, and you wondered if he was going to practice today. "Botany club, right?"
Your face bowed and you nodded, standing because the tension was thick and awkward and you couldn't help but feel like it was your fault. "Um, yes..." You looked up to him, brushing off your uniform, and you shrugged your shoulder as he stood as well.
"Sorry, I got blood all over it, it's such a cute pattern too..." He seemed genuinely apologetic, rubbing it between his forefinger and thumb along the edges, your name embroidered in the corner and you smiled.
He handed it out to you, he didn't know if you wanted it back or not, but he seemed awakward about it. "It's fine, you can keep it..." You smiled at him, and his nose was red and his cheeks got red as well. "Um...Sugawara-kun...?"
He turned his full attention to you, and you noticed, taking one on one as you never did, he was taller than you, and his eyes were kind and full of sadness at the same time. "Yes (l/n)-chan?"
You didn't know how to phrase what you were trying to ask, brows furrowing and biting you lip and he laughed and your mind went blank. "Why do you look so sad when you cannot accept a girls feelings?" You all but blurted out, hands grabbing your sweater tight, enough to wrinkle it but you are so damn curious.

Realising yes, you had just asked that, and yes, he realised this wasn't the first time you had seen this scene, both of your faces went red. "I'm sorry! That was an extremely personal question." You took a step back, cheeks too red and you shown your head. "Never mind, have a good day Sugawara-kun!" You turned on your heel, but didn't run, shoulder hunched as you walked and your heart hurt, because for the briefest of seconds, you could see your own reflection in his eyes and he was staring at you, and you shook your head, changed your shoes, and headed home.

The following morning was a first. When you opened your shoe locker you slammed it almost shut instantly because—oh my god—there was a flower with chocolates and a note.

So you pulled the note out slowly, very one passing you by and your face got red and swelled with heat when you read the words written in black ink.

I cannot accept their feelings because mine already belong to someone else.
Will you accept mine?

And at the bottom of the paper it was signed and you nearly felt your heart burst from your chest.

You can call me Koushi.