Oikawa || The Boy Written In The Stars

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It was the way the moon faded and the clouds hung overhead and passed ever so slightly. Your eyes drifted to the house beside yours with too wide eyes, a bit too blown, dangerous thoughts running through your head. For the last few years, you had been infatuated with your neighbour, he was kind and gentle, your mother had his over every weekend for tea, and they were good friends. He smiled and teased you when people were around, but the bright smile faded when you two were alone, but that had only happened once.

Your parents had been out of town, visiting your aunt for her birthday, but you had a big test, so you had stayed behind. Back then you were a mess of kind feelings and bright smiles, always around friends but it changed once you got home. The second the door closed behind you, as usual, the house was empty and dark because your parents always worked late. You didn't mind, but you only felt like you could let everything drop when you were home. Your parents knew, the had noticed the change, taken you to a doctor, you had a bottle of pills still sat on the desk. The bottle was half empty but you weren't taking them, hiding them under your tongue until it burned and tasted foul and when your mother turned away, you spit them back up.

The weekend your parents had been gone, you had stayed outside, not even caring about the too cold air and the bite of winter, too young and too childish and too in love with the sky and stars to even care. So you had been outside in the dark, because there had been a reason, something like that, the ache in your bones to become something bigger than what you were and the hours—the nights—that passed while you stared into nothing but a blackened sky, lead you to him. You had been smaller, a few years back, and things had been different and your eyes had been a bit too big and a bit too wide and you didn't even realise you were crying until your chest snapped and you took in a ragged breath.

Then the sound of a door shutting was heard and the tears were wiped away but not fast enough because the fucking neighbour—Oikawa Tooru—had seen your tears and his eyes went wide and he walked over. It was late, too late in the morning and the moon was low and the stars were bright and he looked alien and ethereal as he walked. His eyes were rimmed with red and you weren't too surprised because you had heard shouting earlier and his father's voice boomed and he looked as horrible as you did. He stopped a meter or so away from you, breath mixing in the late night and you swallowed. "Are you okay?"
The question was soft and kind, more worried for him than you because you knew he had a pretty smile and a nice face but under that he was angry and sad and never felt like he was good enough.

His laugh was broken and haunted, and you walked over to the swings that your dad had put there when you moved and he took the one beside you. "I was about to ask you that, do you know how concerning it is to look out your window and see your neighbour hunched over in the middle of the night?" The laugh that followed was too heavy, too fake, and it broke something inside your chest.

Because even the Grand King Oikawa Tooru could fall.

So you talked about the stars and space and there was a look in his eyes that you found yourself latching onto almost involuntary as you sat on the swings. Then the night faded and the sun came up and the stars were gone and the tears fell steadily and he laughed as he reached out to wipe them on the back of his knuckles. "Your crying face is ugly."
You laughed, and it cut somewhere deep in his chest as you stared at his glossy eyes, brimmed with tears. "So is yours."

Four years ago, you sat in the backyard and cried in the middle of winter and the air was cold and the stars came out and you had found out how horrible of a person Oikawa was. It wasn't that he was mean or snide, he was horrible because from those seconds on you knew that the smile was fake and the laughter and flirtatiousness was built upon a desire inside Oikawa's chest to take everything and to have the best. So every time he greeted you as you left your house every morning, you flinched and walked past, because Iwaizumi always came to pick him up and you kept your head down and went about your day. The weekends were the worst, mothers over for tea and the sight of him in his bedroom you could see from the window and sometimes in the middle of the night you could see him hunched over the tv watching volleyball with too concentrated eyes.

Horrible person.

By this point, you had stopped lying, told your parents how the medicine made you feel, stopped taking them together, and another outlet came to life and that usually consisted of sitting in the backyard with a blanket and a cup of cold tea and the stars. For your fifteenth birthday, your dad had bought you a telescope, a nice fancy one because he saw the way you worked so hard for weeks to get the star map painted on your ceiling with glow in the dark paint and he wanted you to explore.

Second year came and went with boyfriends and girlfriends and plants; come the time of the summer, there was an uncomfortable weight in your chest and suddenly the stars didn't look so bright. (Oikawa had left last summer to start university) Other things consumed your time now, college preparation, grades, applications and a part time job so you could pay for an apartment when you finally decided to go somewhere for university. A glance out your window, in the summertime heat, proved something you thought you had faced long ago.

Tooru looked different, his smile was less bright and his eyes were sharper, he had returned home for summer break and you could see the same form bent over the tv and suddenly you were fourteen again. Your hand flinched, and your eyes fell on the covered telescope that had been abandoned under the laundry you hadn't put away and the star map had long since been covered since most of the girls that stayed the night (your mothers friends daughters, most of which didn't understand you) had commented about how weird it was but you used to love it. You went to your window, yanking it up because the air was sticky and humid and you breathed in, hours late and it felt like winter again.

The flashing got his attention, the light on your phone casting shadows to the wall behind him and he walked over and ripped the window open with so much force, you flinched. "What?" He snapped, the two of you weren't friends, only neighbours, who smiled politely in passing and offered tea every time they came over with their mothers but always ending up back in their room to be left alone.
You climbed out, because this was ridiculous and stupid and you had questions and of course only the pretty boy could answer. "Do you still like aliens?" It was a random question, catching him off guard and you sat on the roof facing him so you could see him from his window. "Do you still look up to the stars?"
"What are you talking about? Are you high?" He snapped, and the bags under his eyes were prominent and you clenched your hands.
"Why are you watching volleyball at three in the morning Tooru-san?!" The question was blurted out and your hands got fidgety and he looked like you had slapped him. "You were like this before, in high school, and I remember because sometimes I'd sit here and watch the stars and I could see your tv on and it was always volleyball."
"What is it to you?" His eyes were cold and tired and you braved yourself as you stood up, the sound he made was one of shock as you moved back.
"Will you UFO watch with me?" The clouds were thick and the sky was dark but you could still see the flecks of gold and life behind he smoke screen and you wondered if he could still see them too.
He seemed genuinely shocked by this, and he swallowed and his eyes were wide. "Why?"
"Because you lost that vibe you used to give off that made me think you were an alien as a kid and I want to know if it's still there." Your hand gripped the window frame, and your smile was big. "I'm positive aliens exist because no one can live two lives like you can Tooru." His eyes went wide and his face flushed and he sighed. "I'll get the telescope!" You said, probably a bit too loud because as you were climbing back through the door your older sister opened it and the lights flickered on and she screamed.

You left go, natural reflex when flight or fight response kicked in, to run because she scared the shit out of you but your bare foot caught a bit too far from the edge, and everything fell.

Tooru screamed your name, and soon lights were on, you ended up with a face of dirt and a broken wrist and Tooru was in alien boxers and you could do nothing but laugh.

He drew constellations on your cast the next night, the two of you sat in he backward with nothing but the summer heat and a telescope between the two of you.

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