A Guy Like Her

With A Penis And Everything

Chapter Six
-With A Penis And Everything-

Wearing baggy clothes and being a guy was making me feel less guilty about eating whatever the hell I wanted. Sitting in Lockie's room, nibbling on pork crackling snacks as I looked over my assignments; I was having a fat day and embraced it like nobody's business.

"You know they're like fifty percent salt, hundred percent fat, right?" Jake mumbled as he walked into the room, falling onto his bed in perfect hot gracefulness.
"You know that makes a hundred and fifty percent right?"
"That's my point," Jake laughed, splitting a text book open. "They're so bad for you."
"Dude," I snorted to myself in full on guy mode, "You sound like a chick. Want me to hold your hand whilst you go through your period too?" I asked throwing a pork rind at him.
"Whatever man, chicks don't dig flab. When you're like, a hundred and fifty kilos, don't come bitching to me."
I stared at him over my shoulder and studied him. He was defiantly in shape and I guess he did join a gym as soon as he was on campus. He had abs... And legs... And those arms... Damn he was good looking. I shook myself out of checking him out and got my mind back on track.
"Since when do straight guys care so much about their body?" I asked myself, not really realizing I was talking out loud.
"Straight guys are allowed to look after their bodies; just in case you didn't get the memo..." Jake rolled his eyes, "You can't catch gay from going to the gym." I rolled my eyes at him
"How often do you go to the gym?" I asked, generally interested.
"Most days," he shrugged, "I do cardio one day, legs the next day, arms after that and so on. Its pretty easy to fall into a routine once you start going," He told me flicking through his book, not really looking at it. "You should come one day with me. Usually meet up with Taylor there. We can workout together, I promise not to make you my bitch in the shower after," Jake joked.
"You wish you could have me," I snorted, rolling my eyes.

...I wish he wanted to have me...

"Yeah bro, dream about you every night." he rolled his eyes back at me and I grinned at him as I shook my head.

Not even twenty minutes later, Jake and I had fallen into a comfortable study silence. This guy thing wasn't so hard after I realized that everyone was either incredibly stupid or really blind. Because they thought I was a guy.

With a penis and everything.

Whatever. I'm rolling with it while it lasts. I looked back over my shoulder and glanced at Jake. After the second day of living together, I still really didn't know much about him. I sighed and rolled over onto my back.
"Man, studying blows," I groaned.
"Yeah, pretty sure I'm not actually taking anything in," Jake sighed back at me, throwing his book down his bed.
"So, you got a girl back home?" I asked, trying to sound casual.
"Uh no, actually. Been single for a while now, I guess," he murmured.
"Not letting any of the weaker sex sink their claws in, aye?" I joked and Jake frowned at me.
"Yeah something like that, I guess..." he mumbled, crossing his arms over his chest and looking at his feet seriously.
"Kathy thinks she's got her claws in me, but she hasn't. You just can't tame a wild beast," I sighed, rolling over and flexing my biceps before kissing them like a total douche bag.
"Yeah, right," Jake laughed. "That's what all the whipped ones reckon."
"I am not whipped," I glared at him and glared harder when he made a whip cracking noise at me.
"If she rang you up right now and was like 'Lockie, there's a big spider in my room, come and kill it.' you so would man. Whipped." I couldn't help but grin at his girly voice he used for Kathy.
"The only reason I would go over and whack a big spider is because Kathy would then whack off something else that's big. WUDDUP!" I grinned at Jake and watched him hide a smirk as he opened his text book again and flick through it.
"You have more issues than I can help you with, bro," he told me and I laughed.
"My only issue is not enough Pepeito time."
"Pepeito?" Jake asked sounding amused. Glancing at me with a single eyebrow raised.
"Yeah dude. Kathy calls my junk Pepeito," I rolled with the made-up story and shrugged easily.
"...And you admit to that in public?" Jake laughed.
"What? Pepeito. It's Spanish, which means it's exotic. Chicks dig exotic," I told him defensively and only made him laugh harder.
"You wait until Taylor hears about this," he told me. "He'll agree with me."
"What the hell happened to 'guy code'?" I demanded, "Don't tell Taylor." I looked at him, openly horrified.
"You started calling your dick Pepeito, that's what happened," Jake laughed. "You admitted to it so now you have to pay the consequences'. "
"You telling me you don't have a name for yours?"
"Of course I do," He continued to laugh. "But you're never going to find out what it is."
"Asshole," I murmured under my breath, looking again to my text book that suddenly seemed way more exciting than being teased by Jake. Didn't guys do stuff like name their junk? Trent had name his 'Poseidon'. Something to do with being the god of everything wet... It was vulgar, and I had never let on that I was still secretly a little amused by it.

"Wuddup Pepeito!" Taylor hollered as he walked into class that afternoon. We shared more than one class as it turns out and Jakes gossip skills were faster than a ninja on a red bull rush, so it seems.
"How the hell did he find you that fast to tell you?" I demanded as he sat next to me. Not able to fight the blush of embarressment.
"It's called a mobile phone, bro. They invented that shit to communicate faster," he spoke at me like I was an idiot and I rolled my eyes. "You hitting up the gym with us tomorrow morning? You're always in hoodies and shit. You're hiding a wicked beer gut huh?" Taylor asked me, curiously.

Wicked beer gut? No.
Boobies? Yes.

"Aww I don't know, dude. What time are you guys going?" I asked hesitantly. The gym and I have never been friends.
"Rocking up about six-fifteen, get out by seven-thirty," he shrugged easily.
"Good god, why that early?" I tried to keep the horror out of my voice. I could hardly get up early enough to get to class, let alone do it willingly earlier to purposely torture myself at the gym.
"Get it out of the way, man. You can then eat carbs and shit at breakfast."
"Oh, because you also have your period along with worrying about carbs and fat intake?" I asked, sarcastically and he smirked at me, smugly.
"Excuse me, but who is wearing the hoodie here to hide their bloated, bulging, girl repellant and who here has a date with a wicked hottie tonight?"I rolled my eyes at him, and gave him my own smug smirk.
"Girl repellant? Bro, I have a girlfriend."
"Not for long if you keep expanding outwards." He glanced over my body and I felt the typical twinge of self-consciousness.
"You're such an asshole," I sighed.
"Don't hate the player, hate the game man. I'm just telling the truth." Taylor lent back in his chair, putting his hands behind his head. "From what Jake has said, your girl is damn fine. You gotta work to keep that.... Girls don't stay with losers." He finished with a murmur and I studied him for a second. His body was relaxed and strong but his eyes were guarded.

...and that's when it truly and totally hit me...

Guys are just as self conscious as girls... even worse in Taylor's case.
God damn.