A Guy Like Her

Herbal Organic Shampoo

Chapter Nineteen
-Herbal Organic Shampoo-

I have never been more frustrated by anyone in my whole, entire life. Jake was doing everything as slow as possible as I watched my getting ready time slowly getting eaten up by achingly slow hair tweaking and tediously time wasting shoe polishing. I was grinding my teeth before I realised and swapped grinding for gnawing on my fingernails as my jaw started aching from the force. I was almost shaking with need to leave and get ready as I stared at the text book in my lap, pretending to study.
I was almost angry at Jake, he was being such a slow, old man jerk, but I had to keep reminding myself that this wasn't his fault. He didn't know that I was the person he planned on meeting in ten minutes. He didn't know that I needed more than five minutes to get ready and get to my real room to meet him. He definitely didn't know it took me five minutes alone to get all the stupid pins in my hair out seeing as my thick mane needed a bucket load to make sure my hair didn't loosen under the wig. I really should have listened to that crazy Rhonda when she told me it would be easier just to cut off all my hair. I groaned to myself quietly as Jake grabbed an apple so very casually and flopped onto his bed and grabbed his book to study before he left. Getting in a nice, quick moment of reading done as he waited for all my precious getting ready time to dry up.

LEAVE NOW, DAMN YOU!

"Shouldn't you get going?" I asked, trying to force the panic in my voice back. My voice came out surprisingly smooth, when all I wanted to do was yell and stomp around.
"Nuh," He shook his head easily, not even looking up at me. "Still got about ten minutes. S'all good." I had to rub my face to stop myself from glaring outrightly at him. He was planning on being fashionably on time... Of course he was. He couldn't do something helpful like turn up early or go for a walk before he showed up at my place.
As I started to panic, I started considering hurting him. I looked around the room, wondering what I could use to knock him out cold for ten minutes. Everything was either too light and would only hurt him a little, not knock him out or it would knock him out cold and leave me dateless for the night. I don't think he would appreciate waking up at three in the morning to find his roommate had attempted to kill him AND his Playstation was broken because of it. That was just too mean. Where is a chloroform soaked rag when you need one?
Maybe if I made him uncomfortable, he would leave just to get away from me. I could come onto him, make a dramatic annoucement, admitting that I was gayer than Neill Patrick Harris, try to kiss him and admit that I needed him right now, right here. Maybe even hump his leg like a horny dog... That would get him out the door, surely. After a moment I decided I couldn't. That would get him out the door permanantly, I only needed him gone so I could get ready.
I was nearly frustrated enough to burst into tears when he closed his book, stretched his arms high above his head and checked his watch. I glanced at my alarm clock, seven minutes had passed and now I only had three minutes to get ready and leave to beat him to my room.

Yeah. Fricken. Right.

I was screwed. Beyond screwed. I was so screwed, the thread on the screwed screw was stripped.

"Alright." He sighed and stood up. I stared at him, hope bursting from me that he would get the hell away from me so I could rip myself apart and put myself back together to meet him. But, the good looking bastard walked over to his little man beauty station in front of the mirror and checked himself, before he casually grabbed his cologne and screwed off the lid. He was trying to make me commit suicide. I swear to god.

LEAVE. LEAVE. LEAVE. LEAVE. GOD. DAMN. YOU. LEAVE.

He held the open cologne bottle in his hand, the lid was in his other hand. He looked himself over, twisting a single strand of hair, putting it back into place. He stared at himself for a moment and then shrugged.
He stood back to spritz himself with his amazing smelling cologne and I honestly couldn't care less how good he smelled at the moment, I was melting into a pool of frustrated, dying, going-to-kill-him, frustration. He checked over his newly polished shoes and perfect jeans once more and turned to face me with a relaxed look on his face.
"Don't wait up," He told me with a happy, joking half-smile and I couldn't unclench my jaw to give him anything more than a tense smile and a gargle of a laugh. God, the things I would do to strangle you right now, Jake Brennan.
"Enjoy," I managed to half growl out, probably smiling like a pirana, pinching my arm to remind myself it wasn't his fault.