The R Word

Ms. Nowlek

Sara walked into the choir room, for the counseling office was empty, which meant Ms. Nowlek was working in another class. Even though her time in that classroom was for music, Sara needed her the most. She saw her smiling face, and was greeted with a hello. Gosh, she loves her.

"Ms. Nowlek, i need help." Sara sounded shy, like if you got a detention from a principal.

"Sara, what's wrong?" She sat down next to Sara and put her arm around her in a friendly way.

"Well, yesterday, Miranda.."

"What did Miranda do?"

"It doesn't matter what she did, it matters what I did. That's why I am here." She looked down in shame.

"Sara, what did you do?" Ms. Nowlek faced towards her.

"I can trust you with anything?" She felt very hesitant. She asked the same to Steve, and he ended up calling her a retard.

Ms. Nowlek gave her a very long hug, and before Sara said anything, she burst into tears. Sara was having trouble, of course she was! What would happen if she knew? Would she tell? She is the counselor, but there is that one chance that this is too much for her. Killing was a bad thing. Sara just cried some more, until Ms. Nowlek put her hands on Sara's face, and made her eyes look at hers.

"Sara, you can tell me anything without it getting out, and I won't judge you."

"I'm depressed." She leaked out.

"About...?"

Sara started pacing around the room

"I am called a retard wherever i go," she had small weeps in between words, "And i....i..."

"What happened Sara?" Ms. Nowlek stood up.

"I killed someone." She whispered.

"Oh, my. I won't ask who you killed because you're obviously in tears." She had a small laugh in between 'obviously' and 'tears'.

Sara smiled at her, and got her bags, the counseling session went great, but it was not perfect at all. She didn't leave because glee club was the first class. Ms. Nowlek thought she could get Sara pumped by giving her the main solo in another song. Sara just replied with nothing. She was definitely depressed.

Rodney met with her after class.

"Sara, you killed Steve's aunt?"

Sara looked down, and said nothing. That was obviously enough to know that Sara felt horrible and regretted it, but what else could she do? She could've been arrested for nothing. That wouldn't have been very good.

"Rodney, you know how you always tried to save me from people calling me a retard?"

Rodney put his arm on her shoulder, "Of course."

"Well, Steve called me a retard."

"He changed, remember?" He was starting to look a bit worried.

"No Rod, he said it. Yesterday, when I told him."

"No, Sara, you must've been delusional or lying!" He knew Sara was telling the truth, he just didn't want to think Steve didn't change.

"Rodney, it's true." Sara started tearing up at the fact that Rodney had not believed her. She was scared he might hurt her, even though they were best friends.

Rodney stormed away.

"Rodney!" Sara screamed as she ran after him.

"What?" He sounded angry.

Sara chased after him while he was running. They ran fast along the halls, like last time, but this time Sara wasn't chasing after him, mainly just a following. When Sara realized where he was leading to, Sara screamed.

Rodney was going towards Steve.

"What the hell is your problem dude?" Rodney pushed Steve away when Steve tried to kiss him.

Steve was utterly confused, "I don't know, the fact that we are dating lets me kiss you, right?"

"No, this isn't even about that. This is about the fact that you called Sara a retard."

"I'm sure he didn't mean-" Sara was crying at the both of them.

This was bad. Sara was bad. She killed someone, tore up someones shirt, is a retard, and fought a girl. She felt horrible about herself during this fight because this was all her fault. She was trying to stop them from getting into what looked like a fist fight, but Sara wasn't sure exactly what was going on.

"I called her a retard because she killed my aunt!" He screamed right into his face.

"Doesn't matter, you mess with my friend, you mess with me." He said quite calmly.

"No, stop! Don't do this Rodney. It's my fault."

Her words turned into a jibber-jabber of "I hate yous", "You suck", and it ended with "I wish i had never met you."

Sara felt awful for the rest of the day. Rodney barely spoke to anybody else. Steve was mad at us both, and Sara was lonely, because obviously Rodney was a little bit mad at her.

Counseling sessions only worsened the depression. Sara went to writing a note.

A death note.