Love from Mars Vol.1

Maybe not

I don't even know what I feel anymore.
I've been neglecting my feelings for so long that they've mixed up and turned into my worst nightmare... Depression.
Why I am depressed I cannot tell you, 'cause I cannot explain, 'cause I do not know.
Every time i try to think about it, I feel depression taking over, making me back off and neglect what I feel even more. Right now, it's beyond incomprehensible.
In class my teachers don't notice because they think I want to sleep... As always, but in the hallways my friends see my unusual facial expression but me being me I tell them "I'm fine" 'cause I really don't want to talk about something I know so little of.
I knew I should've stayed off of social media, 'cause every time I'm on Twitter I feel worse.
Maybe because you're there, maybe because it's you that led me to neglect my feelings in the first place but then again...Maybe not.
Maybe it's just my anxiety taking over, consuming me, eating up the little that's left of me.
Maybe I want to let it, maybe I want to be gone. Disappear for a while and not come back. Go to some place that's far away, even out of space to a distant galaxy, I frankly don't even know.
Maybe I'm just overreacting and being a freaking drama queen, but the again... Maybe not, because I know I miss my old self, and I want her back. But I don't know where to find her, where to look for her.
But then again maybe I just want to be done with this emotional shit and move on with my God. Damn. Life.
But imma give time some time.
'Cause right now inspiration failed me.

Love from Mars.