Note: this is the most recent one written, dated at about 2 or 3 months ago.
Original title: been a while and I'm back to feeling like shit
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It's been a while
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It lay on his heart, the way these words and actions have taken place. Maybe if he had gone back to ignoring everything, to shutting it all out, he would be okay.
But instead, James had stayed up countless nights thinking and thinking about everything and waking up with a pounding headache that had nothing to do with being sick and everything to do with being insane.
Maybe he had a problem. Maybe him and Aleks shared more things than he would have liked. Feelings were things that people could mend and fold with their hands if they tried, and James hated to admit it, but he let Aleks in the moment he listened to what the boy had to say and it was a choice he regretted more than anything.
Because now he had nothing. All these feelings weren't his, they were the property of both of them. James had given all of himself away without meaning to and now he had nothing more for himself.
Maybe he should have fought the urge, but soon James was lying in bed in the pitch blackness of his room, his phone by his head as it rung.
"Hello? James?" Aleks' answer was almost immediate. James said nothing, only turned over in bed.
Quickly, almost too quickly, did Aleks get the memo. He didn't say anything, just continued what he was doing, and Aleks could hear the faint noise of a mouse clicking.
All James could think of before he fell asleep was that if Aleks was playing CSGO while he lay in misery, he was surely going to kill his dumbass in the morning.
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Aleks could hear the moment when James fell asleep.
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YOU ARE READING
Unknown |not cont.|
أدب الهواة"Sometimes, I just want to... stop breathing." Aleks gave a sharp, pitiful laugh with his words, shaking his head. "You're drunk." "No, I'm not," he croaked, lips trembling. Silence fell between them. "But I really wish I was." __________ Note: dr...
