The Imperfect Truth of Diamond Hearts {Kellin Quinn Sequel}

4 - Miles Away

    When my eyes peeled open the next morning, I awoke with a start to discover that I was alone in bed and that the man I had fallen asleep on was no longer with me.  My heart pounded in my chest with the adrenaline that had just coursed through my system and my eyes darted about the room.  The stench of freshly bleached floors stung my nose, the bluish privacy curtain surrounding my hospital cot and blocking out any light other than artificial ones.  My body began to quiver, mind racing as I continued to look for him.  The frightening part of being in a place like this alone with an already debilitated mind is you begin to wonder if you made the whole thing up.  Was it all just some fucking fantasy I had created ten years ago and I had been committed?  Eyes stung with tears as I tried to get a grasp on myself, trying to calm my mind and heart so that I wouldn’t scream hysterically.  I could feel it gurgling up my throat, willing itself out of me.  My hands were trembling, face feeling drained of blood and stones of dread starting to form in my belly that made me feel anchored to this spot.  I swallowed.

    “Kellin?” I whispered, the sound feeble and frightened, “Baby are you there?”

    I waited patiently for what seemed like minutes even though I knew it was only seconds.  The fear within me was tangible and I couldn’t help wringing my fingers.  My eyes were wide, my heart sounding in my ears.

    And then the curtain moved.

    “Yeah I’m here baby,” his familiar voice called as he peaked from behind the curtain, “Wanted to let you sleep some more so I went and got…-” dramatic pause “-breakfast!”  He whipped out a bag from McDonalds, the red on white definitely signature while his other hand seemed to hold another object.  He grinned broadly as he walked through the curtain and I discovered a drink carrier in his other hand.  The smile on his lips only grew as he came towards me, leaning down to kiss my head.  I breathed a sigh of relief.

    “You just went for food,” I said softly.

    “Yeah why?” he questioned, raising a brow as he pulled up a chair next to the cot.  I shivered gently in my skin and then reached out to grasp his hand.

    “Thought I had imagined you,” I whispered, watching as those beautiful orbs became morose.  He put our breakfast on the ground and cupped my cheek, kissing my nose.

    “Well then I’d be a great story,” he uttered, “But I’m real and you’re stuck with me.”

    “Good,” I replied, squeezing his hand before leaning in to kiss him.  He obliged and eagerly chewed on my bottom lip, causing me to gasp.  I smacked him playfully and laughed, enjoying the sound of his chuckles as well.  They were chiming, not like the deep bass that one might expect of a man but more musical.  The sound was comforting to say the least and set my entire mind to ease.  Kellin went to move away but I quickly grabbed at the back of his head, fingers tangling in his dark locks before I brought our foreheads together.  I sat there for a moment, enjoying the intimate contact that somehow made me feel more at ease.

    When I pulled away and sighed, he seemed more concerned than he had been.

    “What’s wrong?” he asked.  I shook my head and felt so damn frustrated with myself that I just wanted to cry.  Today was obviously a bad day because I just couldn’t get a grasp on reality.  I hadn’t even been able to remember if Kellin was real or not.  What the fuck was wrong with me?

    “I can’t remember anything today,” I uttered in defeat, watching as his eyes softened and his hand reached up to take mine.  He kissed the back of it, lips pressing to each of my fingertips delicately.  I smiled, blushing lightly as his eyes opened, dark lashes flipping back to reveal the turquoise waves of an infinite ocean.  I could get lost in those orbs for hours so I quickly blinked.