The Imperfect Truth of Diamond Hearts {Kellin Quinn Sequel}

8 - Let Love Bleed Red

    I was begging my mind to deny the truth I knew, without a doubt, was upon me.  Twins.  Kellin and I had twins, a boy and a girl.  They were absolutely beautiful and I loved them with all of my heart, but I was not prepared for this.  Time alone with our children and maternity leave was not my slice of cake nor my cup of tea.  I'm wasn't ready to take care of both of them by myself, but it seemed the world did not care for frightened new mothers and busy new fathers.  It kept on ticking, time flying by and causing our money to slowly deplete.  I couldn't work in this condition, not with the strenuous conditions I had to deal with and so that meant Kellin was the money maker for now.

    And that meant going on tour for him.

    My heart was in my throat this morning, the bleary light barely making it through the cracks between the curtains.  The red strands of my serrated hair were hanging in my face, covering parts of my sight as I stared at my hands.  I felt like I looked too pale and as though portions of my stomach were starting to churn with unnecessary sickness.  Honestly I wanted to puke because I was so worried about him leaving in a few hours.  These were the last moments I had with him and he was fast asleep, curled up with his pillow while his dark locks flowed around his handsome face.  Soft snores were coming from his lolling mouth while a line of drool soaked into the sheets, just missing his pillow.  I smiled and went to reach out to him, thinking better of it before I allowed him to continue sleeping.  A sigh escaped me.

    Dreams had not come to me last night and sleep had slipped away as though it were smoke that I attempted to capture with a butterfly net.  The twins had gotten me up twice to feed, but it was not nearly as often as the first few weeks they had been home.  Now they were going on five months old, laughing and smiling while little giggles caused all four of us to grin.  The crying was at a minimal for Keira, but Hunter was fussy and ornery.  Kellin said he took after me, but I pointed out that our daughter was the one with my hair and our son was the one with his locks.  He had chuckled.  It made me wonder if Kellin was a grouchy baby who cried much of the night.  I wouldn't know who to ask though because his mom was long gone and his dad wasn't exactly one of the nicest people.

    Maybe that's why he had been so worried about the babies coming into our lives.  He didn't want to end up like his father because his dad didn't even know the first thing about his own son.  I couldn't have asked that man how Kellin was as a baby because he probably didn't even know.  I only could hope that becoming a grandfather would melt that man's heart for my husband's sake.  If he couldn't be there for Kellin, he better at least be a decent grandpa to my babies or I would have something to say about it.  I already had plenty of bones to pick but that was beyond the point. 

    Kellin stirred next to me, rolling over slightly and groaning as though he were having a nightmare.  I reached out and grasped his hand in mine, watching as his eyelids opened to reveal those striking oceanic orbs.  Not quite all blue, not quite all green and just like the sea.  He smiled.

    "You're up?  Are the kid-"

    "I couldn't sleep," I uttered before he could finish.  He pulled his mouth off to the side, the knowing of what was bothering me written plainly on his face.  He offered the crook of his arm and I gladly cuddled up next to him, relishing his touch as he held me close.  Lips met my brow, bringing a smile to my own mouth. 

    "I'm sorry," he whispered painfully and I shrugged.

    "It isn't a big deal," I uttered, nuzzling my face into his chest, "Just is what it is."  He nodded.

    "I know," he said, lips brushing my ear and breath tickling my skin as he barely managed to get the words out.  Obviously he was in consensus with me: this sucked.