Under the Stars (a lunar chronicles Modern AU)

Chapter Six: Sarcasm

Cinder was pretty sure she was having a mental breakdown.

Her face was red, her heart was hammering, her whole body was trembling and her eyes were brimmed with tears.

Before they entered the library, where Iko had found Kai liked to study alone on a Saturday, Cinder pulled Iko to one side, taking gasping breaths and leaning against her friend.

"I can't do this," she said for the millionth time.

"Not this again," Iko complained.

"It's not easy for me like it is for you, Iko I can't."

"Yes you can, you're Cinder freaking Linh! You can do anything!"

"Not this!" Cinder said, pressing the heels of her hands into her eyes and praying she wouldn't start crying; that would be worse than having to find the courage to talk to Kai.

"How about I sit down with you? I'll get a conversation going and then have to mysteriously leave at which point my ninja skills will come into practice."

"You're not going to let me back out at all are you?" Cinder asked.

Iko shook her head. "Nope, as long as I'm your best friend you are going to talk to that boy and he is going to enjoy it."

"Aren't I supposed to enjoy it too?" asked Cinder.

Iko considered this, "eventually, but you don't seem to be having much fun right now so come on!"

Being half dragged into the library wasn't fun, but at the first sight of Kai sitting alone at the back of the room Cinder straightened up and tried to calm her breathing and her brightly burning face.

He didn't look up until they were a few tables away, and when he did Cinder tried to smile, but her expression probably looked as forced as it was.

"Kai!" Iko exclaimed, her voice high and light. She slid into the seat diagonal to Kai, letting Cinder awkwardly perch herself opposite him, "I didn't know you'd be here!"

"Well, you have been following me around all week, and you did the exact same thing for a month last year," Kai said, setting his pen down on his open book full of equations Cinder didn't yet understand, but that Kai seemed to be managing perfectly fine.

"You didn't see a thing," said Iko, waving a hand in front of her face.

Kai rolled his eyes, turning to Cinder. "Hello Cinder," he said. Was she imagining things, hallucinating under her nervousness or did his ears turn ever so slightly pink when he looked at her.

"Hello," she muttered, trying to put some light into her voice, but speaking alone cost her, and she found herself unable to focus on anything other than not blushing, which coincidently resulted in her blushing even more.

Kai was staring at her for some reason, and though she tried really hard, she found herself staring back, taking in the beautifully crafted curve of his jaw, his tousled hair, his full lips, slightly parted.

She tore her gaze away.

"What are doing then?" Iko asked, leaning over the table to see his open book.

"Maths, I have an exam coming up," Kai said, sighing down at the infinite equations covering his page, interrupted only by the occasional doodle: mostly spirals or a tangle of lines with patterns in between. Kai looked more interested in colouring them in with his black biro than he did his actual work.

"Cinder and I have GCSEs in June," Iko pointed out, making Cinders mood drop to the floor. She was already been made to face the boy she had liked for years, did Iko really have to mention exams?