Cold Mask (Kylo Ren X Reader)

Chapter 9

How does one trip over themselves, more like, how does one fall against the most terrifying man in the galaxy. You immediately looked down, your face turning hot with embarrassment, your mind yelling at you for being a total idiot. 'Great going, now I'm officially dead.' You tried getting up slowly, cringing at the suspense. How angry will he be, especially since you left without permission?

Even when you can't see his eyes, you could still feel them burn into your skull. Kylo frowned behind his mask, his jaw was clenched in irritation, from the 'incident.' "Y/n," His robotic voice spoke steadily, "What are you doing out of your room?" He was seething. "I-" Kylo cut you off before you could say anything more. "Even when I gave you direct orders to stay unless a superior authority came to get you?" He questioned between clenched teeth. The helmet did not help hide his anger.

You stood up fully, brushing your clothes off. Now that you were in front of him, the height difference helped significantly with Kylo's intimidation. He practically loomed over you. You noticed this on the first day of training, you didn't like it one bit. "I-I'm sorry, I just wanted to walk around..." speaking as if you were a guilty five-year-old. Just then you felt an invisible force clasp around you neck, followed by the air leaving your lungs gradually. Kylo stood there, his arm outstretched.

"I gave you specific ORDERS!" He growled behind the helmet. The pressure in your head expanded, like if your going to burst in any second. "K-K-" Straining to breathe, you clawed at the grip on your throat. It did no good. This was the fifth time he has attacked you like this, it made you furious. Eventually He dropped you onto the cold floor and left, to 'release' his anger elsewhere.

Coughing and gasping, your lungs welcomed the air, taking in every gulp frantically. Why does he do that to you? Why is he constantly so angry at you? You pressed your head against the wall, recovering. You didn't like how helpless and weak you felt. Tears brimmed your eyes. 'I will not show anymore weakness! I can't let him see me as vulnerable.' You stood up, again and walked down the halls to your room.

After a while you became lost, it didn't surprise you, since the whole place is astronomically large and confusing. You groaned and continue to walk, passing a room that caught your attention.

Sparks were flying from the doorway and you could hear yelling from the inside. Kylo. You shook your head, debating whether or not to go in.

You sighed and nervously stepped pass the doorway. The sparks and noises ceased, leaving you in a hushed room with Kylo. A lump started to form in the back of your throat. Kylo's presence somehow always made you feel small and scared. You edged to the corner of the room, not losing eye contact with Kylo, he hesitantly put his saber up and straightened. "What is it you want?" His voice was sharp and cold. It was hard to find the right words, his mask was too menacing for you to think normally. Shuffling your weight to your right leg you decided to speak.

"Kylo?" He stared you down as you spoke, studying your movements. You still weren't used to him and you still were unsure of the things he could/would do. It scared you that your stuck on a base, 'training' with a man you don't know well. "I just want to, um." You frowned and finally said want needed to be said, "Will you please take the helmet off? So, maybe we could talk?" You tried to inch as far away as possible. Kylo has never taken his helmet off in front of you, ever since day one. Kylo took one step closer to you. His fingers snaked to the back of his helmet, and in a split second, the helmet clicked and he raised it over his head.

Your heart skipped a beat. You don't know why, but every time you see his young face and big sorrowful eyes, you feel sympathy. You just wanted to hug him, comfort him. His expression was pained, but his hazel eyes always showed hurt and sorrow.

Now his helmet was off, you felt more comfortable to talk to him. You felt like you could talk to another human, not a robot. He ran his fingers through his hair and sighed. "May I again ask what it is you want?" He breathed slowly, trying to calm himself. You took a few steps closer and stared into his eyes. "Why do you do that?" You questioned, a hint of misery painted your eyes. You missed home, you despised this place.

He raised an eyebrow, "Do what, exactly?" He knew what you meant, but he didn't want to say.

At that moment you broke down, your emotion spilled out, you couldn't take it anymore. You are not strong like Kylo, and you never will be. You don't belong there. You knew the things Kylo has done, killing innocents just to become the strongest sith. You don't want to be dark. "You always hurt or yell at me! I'm sorry I'm not what you expect! I'm just not dark enough or strong enough! But, I DIDN'T ASK FOR THIS! ALL YOU ARE IS A MONSTER!" You cried out, tears slid down your face, and before Kylo could react, you ran out into the hallway and to your room. You knew, you had just messed up.