Neighbors [boyxboy] [ON HOLD!!!]

Chapter 14

Dedicating this chapter to finding_justine.

*Edited by dacasabella*

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Zak's P.O.V.

Disappointment.

Failure.

Abomination.

Those words, my mother's words, were ringing continuously through my head as I rested it against the cab window, tears flowing down my cheeks.

I couldn't take it anymore, all the hate she threw my way. I had tried my best to downplay it all these years, but I just couldn't do that anymore.

I could only put on a brave face for so long and today, she had finally broken me. Her words had finally cut through my facade, like a knife through butter.

Didn't she understand that I didn't want to be gay? Didn't she see the agony on my face that day when I told her. Didn't she know how ashamed I used to be, of myself, for who I was? Didn't she realize that I had no choice in being gay and if I did, I would have chosen to be 'normal' in a heartbeat? Just for her. Just to make her happy and have her love me again.

Even knowing that, I couldn't wrap my head around how a mother could hate her own child. I found it hard to believe I came from her womb with the way she treated me. It was so inhuman. She was inhuman. The sad fact was, my mother died eight years ago. I was an orphan.

It came out of nowhere. The realization washed over me like a cold rain, drenching me and seeping into my bones. She was never going to love me like she used to. No, I couldn't even give her that little concession. She was never going to love me, at all. That love died the day I came out to her and there was nothing I could do to change that. I had to accept it.

I shut my eyes once more, as the tears flowed down freely, trying my best to hold in the whimpers that were bubbling up from my throat.

The cab had been driving for about 30 minutes when we finally reached my destination. Logan had been trying to call me throughout most of the journey. Not wanting to give into my guilt and answer, I finally switched off my phone.

I opened my wallet and pulled out a couple of twenties and gave it to the cab driver as he pulled over to the curb to let me out. "Keep the change.", I mumbled as I fumbled to open the door."

"Are you sure sir? This is a lot!", the young man, who looked to be around my age, exclaimed.

"Yeah, I'm sure."

"Sorry about your boyfriend sir.", he said apologetically as I was about to shut the car door.

I choked a bit, my eyes widening at his assumption. "That was my brother. I appreciate your concern though." I replied as I shut the door prompting him to drive away.

I turned around and looked across the landscape, feeling more alone than ever. I took a long breath of the late afternoon air. It smelt like anguish, sorrow and unfulfilled dreams. 'How fitting.'

I dragged my hands down my face, trying to wipe away my never-ending tears, and made my way into the open field. A layer of guilt weighed me down as I took in the perfectly manicured landscape. I hadn't been here in a long while, way too long, if I was being honest with myself.

The sun was beginning to set and not a single soul could be seen wandering through the fields. If today had been any other day, I would have found this rather peaceful, serene even.