Kilgrave's Desire

chances

I kissed him...I actually kissed him...I never kiss guys who are arrogant manipulators. If I never kiss guys like that then why did I miss him? Is he different? He could be but there is that problem with him....he likes control and I don't like being controlled. I cannot let him into my head and cast me into a dark chasim where I cannot escape until he releases me. If I give into that there is no saying what he will make me do. Goddamn it why am I second guessing myself? I wriggle out from under him and quickly scurry out of the room just in time for one of the muscleheads to give him his medication. I round the corner and spend the rest of the week avoiding him. I needed to stay away from him. yes I kissed him and yes I liked it but there is more to him, I can't afford to let him in.

A few days pass and to my own surprise and to the medical professionals Kilgrave was able to manipulate to come over just by a simple phone call.... he healed. Granted his ribs aren't fully healed but he was able to move and bend just not up to full strength. I sit in the study on a chaise that is against the large bay window which is looking out at the city in the distance. Snow is falling gracefully and sticking on the street and the grass below. I lean against the wall with my knees pulled up into my chest as I watch the snow drifting. The very thought and memory of me kissing him lingered and replayed over and over again like a song stuck on repeat. The first ten times it replayed in my head it was incredible and like the first time but after fifty hundred times I know every part of that moment and its maddening and all I want is a new moment a new experience to play over and over. I sigh aloud as the realization that being cooped up and not outside in the world beyond these windows and walls is all I want as a new experience.

"Enjoying the view are we?" Kilgrave's voice echoes behind me causing my heart to leap in surprise.

"Just looking outside like every prisoner does," I mumble impassively as I start to turn away and look back outside at the snow.

Kilgrave wandered over towards me and sat on the edge of the chaise at my feet staring at me. I watched him from the corner of my eye as he gazed at me intensely like I was a meal. the very look alone made my body shutter uncontrollably like the air conditioner was constantly on and I was standing in front of it after taking a shower. He runs his left hand through his hair as he straightened his posture. he is gearing up for something. I am not sure what but I just turn to him and raise my eyebrows as I give me a simple what the hell do you want look.

"You cannot honestly mean that," his voice is slow and concise his British accent is distracting me for a moment.

"I can't leave here without your permission," I seethe as I gestures to myself and towards him pointedly.

"Oh come off it don't be like that," he scoffs as he tilts his head to the side.

"You promised to renegotiate terms if you got better,"I reply accusingly.

"What happened to the lass who kissed me ?" he asked as she straightened.

"She woke up since the guy she kissed has showed his true demented colors," I counter as I stood up quickly and started to walk out of the room.

"those colors have been there you must like kissing bad boys who take control of you," he chides behind me.

I keep walking and do not stop. To my surprise he did not stop me, he just continue to watch me. I get to the doorway and stop in my tracks. There is no way in hell that he gets the last word. He doesn't know anything for me and he clearly doesn't know what day today is. I turn on my heels and look at him with challenging eyes as I watch him stand slowly, his partially healing ribs are still causing him pain.

"It was only a kiss get over yourself and besides if you haven't noticed today is a special holiday, you know where people spend time with those they love and cherish. All those I love and cherish are either dead or want nothing to do with me because of my gifts.... you only want me here because of some delusion you have that either ill love you or that we can unite and become this super unstoppable team," I snap. He opens his mouth but closes it immediately mostly to my own doing since I used my gift to hold his mouth shut. "If you truly cared you would trust me enough to know I would still uphold my end of our crazy bargain even if you were kind enough to let me leave on my own freewill. Oh and Kilgrave....Merry Christmas."

With that I walked out of the library leaving him to dwell alone and think about what I had to say. I have a few friends like my friend Oliver who was worried sick about me and I am sure he would have liked it if I came home to see him. I have no idea how or why I changed my mind about him but maybe I did kiss him out of sympathy and maybe I did kiss him because I do care for him and maybe love him. I walk back into my room and stare out the window and watch the snow slow down. I watch the snow drifting slower and slower like my life line. There is no life here and there cannot be a life with a man who is power hungry and a control freak.

"May I come in?" He asked from behind.

"Will it really matter?" I jeer. "If I say no you'll still come in and if I say yes you'll come in." I listened as he walked in and stood behind me by the foot of my bed, just two feet from me. I could easily kill him and end him but he could kill me too.

"Turn around, Melody," he ordered. just like on command I turn around and face him, falling into darkness and into the fog.

He is ordering me around and he clearly does not care.

"I am sorry for forgetting today is Christmas," he begins in as genuine tone that rings with concern and sorrow. "So as your Christmas present you may leave whenever you'd like so long as you promise to try and get to know me and hopefully love me... we have less than three months together left and you better make it count."

"You're giving me permission to leave," I reiterate slowly as a smile paints on my face. I can have freedom? I can get away from him finally.

"only if you agree to try and give me a chance to genuinely win your admiration and heart, this is not a negotiation this is simply and extended clause of our original deal," he smiles as he steps close to me.

His touch alone sets my skin on fire as my heart hammers in overdrive. His touch cannot seriously be causing my body to react this way. It is like I do not even know myself. My head is screaming at me to run like hell and beat his ass whereas my body is already giving him and telling me to give him what he wants. Case and point, my heart and body reacting to just a simple touch alone. I want to crawl out of my skin and be anywhere else but here.

"Tell me we have a deal and you may walk out of that door so you don't feel like you are being penned up," he declares.

"We have a deal," I agree as I grab his hand pry it off my face like a wretched leech. He smirks as he brings his hand back to my cheek again. I reach up to grab his hand again but three words stop me and throttle me back into the darkness.

"Don't do it."

My hand drops to my side as I watch him smile in the sight of me being under his influence. I am helpless yet again. He can only go so long without needing to have control over someone and apparently his time frame is a ten hour window. I stand there mentally fighting the darkness fending off the foggy presence that his manipulation puts me in. It is starting to get to the point that his words alone aren't the only thing that render me helpless and at his whim and command but its starting to grow into being his presence alone. I can fight but it is taking more of my energy and strength to resist. It feels like he knows that it takes more for me to resist. It is either that or he has been increasing his strength and power when I haven't seen him around. He smiles at me and leans into me. Every inch and fiber of my being are standing on edge but he kissed me on the forehead. I watch him as he steps back and nodded once.

"Go on you have permission to venture outside, come back when you are done."

I smile at him and walk past him. I grab my phone and bag off the dresser and walk down the hall and out the door quicker than I figured I would. I am free. I can get out of this hell and escape... but how long can I stay out before either his control wears off or before he starts looking for me? I don't let those small questions bother me now....I am free now and that is all that matters at this moment.