Kilgrave's Desire

Long overdue

      I stare at him uncomfortable in my skin. I want the world to swallow me whole. I am torn. I want to jump across this table and kiss him as well as beat the ever loving crap out of him. One of the girls let out a small whimper washing me with a change of emotion. Guilt. A pain of guilt sweeps over me in waves crashing over and over drowning me in sorrow not allowing me to come up for air. The guilt gets worse the moment I glance at the girls realizing he missed out on months of their lives. He missed a lot since they were born and I fear he will hold it against me.
    "You look stunning," his voice whispers as the server brings him a cup of tea. He grasps the tea cup and brings it to his lips. He grimaces as he takes a sip. "This is not tea...it's rubbish. I have been traveling all over looking for you and haven't had a decent cup of tea in a while."
"I'm sorry to cause you agony in consuming inadequate tea," I mumble before taking a bite of my croissant sandwich.
"It isn't your fault," he muses. I look up wide eyed and dumbfounded.
"Not to put a giant target on my back but I full on took the girls and hid from you for weeks if not months and dodged you and you're sitting here forgiving me and not punishing me or killing me," I carefully managed realizing that I am saying one of my worst fears after I moved into Jessica's supposed safe house.
He looked at me and cocked his head to the side and I do not know what to think or say. I do not know what he will do but I know every fiber of me wants to run since I cannot foresee him to be this forgiving as it isn't his nature to forget and forgive.
" Miss Jones convinced you that I was some sort of villain. She said and did the right things to get you to see what she wanted you to see," he retorts his words crisp and icy like an autumn frost.
"It didn't take much though not after she showed me what you did to my parents," I whisper as I look down at my coffee. His warm hand grasps my hand and pulls it towards him. I look up surprised at the gentle gesture and give a small smile when both girls started whining in their sleep. I look over and notice he hasn't once asked about holding them.
"What did you name them?" He manages to ask carefully still holding my hand in his.
" The one in pink is Aria and the one in purple is Lyra." I reply as I gesture to the girls who sleep soundly in their seats unbothered.
Kilgrave looks up past me to someone behind me and nods and I watch as two women come and grab the car seats. I try to get up and tell these women to stop what they are doing but Kilgrave's hand tightens on my hand. I turn and look at him trying to pull my hand away telling to let go as the women walk out the door and no one is stopping them.
"Sit down and shut up," he seethes. My head fogs as my body does what he orders. My mouth closes as I sit and turn back to face him. His face no longer soft and sympathetic but twisted in fury. "First things first."
Without a second passing he lifts his free hand and plunges a steak knife directly in the back of my hand he was holding firmly. He let the knife go and I watched in horror as the blood spilled out of my hand as my hand is stuck to the table from the knife. The pain is agonizing and I want to scream and shout but I can't. He told me to sit and shut up and I'm here internally screaming in pain. Tears stream down my face as I look from my wounded hand to Kilgrave who tosses fifty bucks on the table and leans in.
"Did. You. Think. That I wouldn't punish you?" He mutters his voice dark and angry. " Let me make one thing clear... I told you I loved you and wanted to marry you and you took the girls and evaded me for weeks...weeks!" 
     His voice boomed through me like thunder, echoing off the walls as people around us are eating unbothered by our scene. I stared at him wide eyed as I pray he doesn't punish our girls.
     " I agree this is Miss Jones's fault but don't think I will forgive you all too quickly," his voice seethed. He moved my plates and coffee to the side grabbing my non-injured hand firmly in his hands.  "You are right I should kill you for taking the girls from me."
Please don't. Please don't take them.
"However," he begins as he pulls the knife out of my hand freeing it from the table. Blood spills freely from the wound. I retract my hand and start shoving napkins on my hand to try to stop the bleeding. "You are their mother and if you behave maybe you'll become my wife but if you won't do as you are told I will have to take the girls and let you stay here and bleed. Alone."
I look at him terrified of how quickly he snapped from kind and caring to his current mood of bipolar and angry. I quickly started nodding agreeing to being there and doing what he asked. I need to be there for the girls and deep down I deserved being yelled at for taking them and hiding them but a knife in the fucking hand!?
"You may speak now," he answers as he motions for someone to approach. I look up as an EMT walks up and stand at our table blank faced waiting.
"Oh my fucking god you stabbed me!" I yelled at him. "Please don't hurt them."
"I won't hurt them...they are my daughters," he scoffs. "Make a choice be with me and our girls or stay and bleed."
"I'll go with you," I reply quickly.
As I uttered the words the EMT took my hand and started working on stitching my wound and dressing it. I looked up from the EMT over to Kilgrave. I watched as his whole demeanor changed from cynicism and rage to calm and controlled. I gave him what he wanted and it just hit me. I said what he wanted. It was never about the girls it was always about me. He wanted me and cornered me using the girls as his bargaining chip.
He played his cards well and I had to fold and despite how pissed I am at him for one stabbing me but two cornering me to choosing him I know things could be a lot worse than a stab wound in the hand. The EMT finished wrapping my wound and Kilgrave stood up and held out his hand towards me. I grabbed my purse and the diaper bag and took a shaking breath as I took his hand and followed him out the door passing the diners and staff who ate and worked as if nothing just happened.