For the next four hours we are in the barn grooming, mucking, feeding. And then, a small group decided to go on a trail. So I tacked up Lillybelle, and walked led her around the arena so my sister could get a feel of what it was like to ride a horse.
Just as we were about to leave the barn, a girl with dark brown hair shoots into the driveway on a palomino colored horse. She circles around and slows the horse into a walk before sliding off the animals back.
"Hi!" She says, much to happy and loud if you ask me. "I'm Quinn, what's your name?" She asks me.
"Uhm.... It's Shasta..." I mumble.
"Well has anyone told you about the trail rides yet?"
"What?" I ask, confused.
"Well twice a week Jackie makes it mandatory that everyone goes on a trail ride. The whole group together with her. It's some sort of therapy thing. But it's fun anyhow. This is my buddy. His name is Aztec." She babbles.
"Nice. I've gotta go." With that, I lead Melody to the round ring to go see Domino.
I snatch the mint green halter and handful of carrots and walk into Renegade's round ring. He rushes around the ring as I make my way to the middle, plop down in the dirt, and wait until he calms down. When he does, I start snapping carrots into smaller pieces.
This caught his attention. He pranced in place and snorted in frustration that I was not throwing carrots to him. I was quickly growing bored and my mind wandered to my parents while I began to hum I miss you by Avril Lavigne. I hung my head and looked at the dirt.
"Hey, are you okay?" I jump when Connor's voice sounds through the air.
"What?" I say, shocked.
"You're crying," he says, swiping tears off of my cheek with his thumb.
"Oh," I say, sniffling and wiping my eyes quickly. "Sorry. Yeah, I'm fine."
"Sure you are. If you're fine, then I'm just peachy." He mumbled, settling into the dirt beside me. "What are you hiding, Greene?"
"Please don't make me tell you. I can't... I don't want to think about it... Please." I beg, starting to cry again.
Connor stood and pulled me up, wrapping me in a hug and rubbing soothing circles on my back. "It's okay. You don't have to tell me if you don't want to. I've got things I don't talk about just like you." He whispered into my hair.
My soft blonde waves are a mess and I feel the panic rush over my body as I gasp for air. My eyes are wide and the shaking sets in. Worry crossed Connor's eyes before he pulls me into a tight hug. Amazingly, the panic attack leaves just as soon as it arrives.
"H-how?" I hiccup, relaxing.
"My mom has panic attacks alot. They started after... Well they started after an accident a couple years ago." He says.
I'm about to say something else when I am bumped from behind. I turn around and Renegade nuzzles me with his nose. I try to reach out to pet him but he runs away and I pick up the halter, leaving the round ring with Connor at my side.
"Thanks." I tell him.
"No problem, Greene." He replies, and we split ways.
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A few hours later, Jackie has everyone on their horses and is putting us in pairs according to age and how the horses get along with one another.
"Melody and Wyatt can be in the middle, Quinn and Sage follow them..." I tune her out until I hear my name.
"Shasta, you can bring up the back with Connor." She shouts.
Connor trots over to me on a black horse with a white mane and tail.
"Ironic, isn't it?" He laughs.
"I guess," I respond tiredly. "What's his name?"
"Juniper. He was my cousins horse..."
I nod and nudge Redemption into a walk to follow the group. The ride is relaxing and quiet. No one says a word to break the tranquil silence as the group rode under a canopy of willow trees next to the river. My eyes are droopy and my body feels heavy. After Connor and I split ways from the round ring, I went up to my room and let myself break down from the pain. Now I was tired and we still had another half hour to go.
"Are you okay, Greene?" Connor whispered, concern written across his face.
"No. But I'm pretending I am for the sake of my sister." I reply.
Jackie speaks up right about then. "It's okay to talk amongst yourselves. You've all been very quiet so far."
The group is suddenly alive with chatter and Connor and I are the only two who fall silent for the rest of the ride. The trail loops around and in a few minutes time, we find ourselves back at the ranch. My butt is sore from riding and I slide out of the saddle as fast as possible.
Taking off her bridle, I put Red's white halter on and tie her to the tire rail before hanging her bridle on the hook in the tack room. I then grab her grooming kit and walk out to find her already unsaddled and groomed. Confused, I headed back to the tack room and put her grooming kit away, grabbed a carrot, and walked back out, giving her the carrot before leading her to her stall.
Connor was walking up just as I hung her halter up.
"Did you groom her?" I ask, sliding my hands into my back pockets.
"I figured you might want a break and I was kind of hoping we could be friends..." He said
"Aren't we already?" I yawn, slight sarcasm slipping into my words.
"I guess so." A smile finds its way onto his face and his eyes shine. "Come on, I'll walk you up to your room if you like."
"If you want to, fine by me." I answer, my body growing heavy.
Seeing my current state, he picks me up and my eyes fall closed as I try to fight off sleep. If I sleep... The nightmares will return. Almost as soon as I think that, I am tossed into sleep and the nightmare begins.
I feel myself set down on my bed and my shoes pulled off. Just as I hear the door close, my eyes fly open, a screech leaves my lips, and I'm shaking as another panic attack sets in. I don't have time to register my little sister flying through the door as I fall off the bed and curl in a fetal position on the floor.
Numbness takes over, though my breathing was still erratic and Melody's tears are flowing freely. I faintly hear the word help before my sister rushes out of the room.
Yes, help. That would be nice. Help.
Connor and Jackie rush through the door and Jackie tells someone to go play with my sister.
"Greene? You okay? Can you hear me?" Connor says softly.
"She's in shock." Jackie staits.
Shock? I'm not in shock. Numb, yes, but not in shock.
I glance around the room before I speak up.
"I'm okay. I'm sorry for scaring people. I had a panic attack is all." I say, my voice rough.
"I thought I did something. Im so sorry." Connor says. I laugh as I begin to stand.
"No, you're okay. I just have PTSD and it caused nightmares or flashbacks when I sleep..." I sigh.
He nods, helping me stand.
"I'm gonna go work with Renegade." Tugging on my boots, I saunter out the door and to the round pen where Renegade was standing.
"Hey, bud." I coo, my voice soft.
His ears perk towards my voice and he begins to slowly walk toward me. My heart thrummed in my ears as he stopped on front of me, ears perked toward me. I slowly lift my arm and put my hand out. To my surprise, he meets me half way, and soon, I'm petting his face.
YOU ARE READING
Faith and Freedom
Teen Fiction"You can't honestly think that this smelly creature is the answer to my problems. Your insain. I am NOT going to Tennessee and you can't force me to! I'm FINE!" ******************************** Their parents were killed. Their lives were about to c...
