Faith and Freedom

Chapter Eighteen

I grabbed Red's bridle off of the hook in the tack room and slipped it over her head slowly. She took the bit gently. The western bridle was old and showed signs of wear and tear but was still in a good condition.

Connor exploded out of the house and stormed to the barn. I led Red into one of the round pens and swung onto her bareback, my legs guiding her to a walk while I waited for Connor. Much to my surprise, he walked out with Troubadour, no saddle, no bridle, no nothing. He grabbed a bit of Trooper's long mane and swung up on his back. Trooper stood still and refused to move until told to do so.

Connor guided him over to the round ring and opened the gate, letting me ride out on Red before he closed the gate again. I gave him a small smile, which he ignored, and he nudged Trooper into a long, flowing canter down a path I'd never seen before. I pushed Red into a lazy lope after him and about ten minutes later, I slow her to a trot to let her catch her breath. I let her go as fast or slow as she wanted, not wanting the horse to feel like she was always going to be under my command. Nearly a half hour later, I stopped her, realizing I was totally lost, on a trail I'd never been on, and I couldn't hear Trooper's hoof beats anymore.

I followed the trail further and less than a minute later I emerged into a sandy bank of a small pond. A creek trickled into the blue pool and the  sand was dotted with a trail of fresh hoof prints, leading right into the water. I scanned the surface and saw Trooper with Connor on his back. They weren't very deep in, but Connor looked so upset.

"Hey, you left me back there... are you okay?" I asked, slipping off of Red to stand in the sand.

"If you didn't want to left behind, you should've kept up." He snapped, his eyes void of emotion. His cold tone shocked me.

"I didn't want to over-work Red. I didn't know how long the ride was or where I was going to. It was unfamiliar to me, that's all." I replied calmly, trying to calm myself from the verge of an anxiety attack.

When he didn't reply, I whispered, "I'm worried about you."

"Don't be! It's not your job to worry about me! I'm not just some weak boy who can't hold his own! You know what? This was a bad idea. Whatever we had going on between us is over, isn't it." He said this as more of a statement than a question.

My vision was blurry and I realised as I stood on the rock to swing myself back onto Red's back, that it was tears.

"Yeah, I guess it is." I mumbled, tears rolling slowly down my cheeks. I didn't even spare him a second glance before I urged Red into a ground covering canter and back down the trail to the barn.

My chest felt like there was a huge weight on it, just as it had right after I watched the fear on my parents faces become lifeless. A loud sob escaped my lips as I fought for air. Redemption sped up into a gallop and I held onto her mane for dear life. The wind made my hair fly crazily out behind me and my tears where whicked off my face and into the air behind  me. The pressure in my chest grew and I felt myself losing conciousness. I squeezed my knees together and pulled back on the reigns. Red did a sliding stop and I fell to the ground beside her, just off the trail. She stood over me as I let out gut wrenching sobs that made me sound like an infant that was just pricked by a needle. The pain in my chest was killing me and I saw the dark spots cloud my vision.

I welcomed them. I welcomed the darkness that followed. I welcomed the numb feeling. It was all I could do to try not to think about what just happened. I stood up after a long while of being curled into the fetal position on the ground in the woods. Brushing myself off, I looked to Red. Out of no where she laid down, looking at me intently. I sat down, centering myself on her back, before gripping her mane tightly. She stood up and began walking down the trail without my directions. She just knew the trails better than I did. When I got back, Leanne was there, her face lighting up in a smile at first, but when she got a closer look at me, her expression turned worried.

I just gave her a small, tight smile in return and turned Red toward the driveway. Slipping off of the gentle mare, I pulled off the bridle. Without thinking, she followed my every move and stood still in the cross ties, without being clipped in.

I gave her a quick brushing down and a few carrots before opening the gate to her pasture. She followed me in and let me slip out. She went off into the pasture and began grazing.

I turned and looked at Renegade in his pasture and suddenly, an idea made its way into my head. Grabbing his halter and lead, I ventured into his pasture and led him out. I quickly clipped him into the cross ties, groomed him, and tacked him up. He followed me to the arena and I grabbed my helmet. I know I'd only ridden him once, he sure as hell didn't trust me, and it was a bad idea, but in all reality, I never was the girl who had good ideas. So, I led him over to the mounting block, and swung myself over his back. I was just about to urge him to walk when I heard Connor, shouting my name.

He came into the barn and he looked awful. His hair was a mess, and his face was bright red. He looked to me with such sadness, I almost felt sorry for him. But instead of trying to make him feel better, I gave him an icy glare and said seven, very cold, very hurtful words: "You mean nothing to me. Not anymore."

With that, I urged Renegade into a walk and blocked out the rest of the distractions. Just Renegade and I.

Word count: 1103