You and Me

Fallen Angel.

So much shame. So much pain was inside me, while I was walking to her classroom. Why did I do that. Why? I'm suck a jerk.
I was standing in front of her door. I was nervous, I was afraid of her reaction.

*knock*

"Come in." Her voice was without any emotion, and that scared me.
"Look, I'm-."
"I don't care." She said. "I don't fucking care what you think. I just want to know why."
I cleaned my throat. "Look, I don't get it why are YOU so mad about this all. There's nothing between us, I realised it and didn't try to make you love me. I loved you, I really did. I still do, Carol. But. If you wouldn't threat me just like a doll, then MAYBE there would be something between us. You're the one that has to find out what you want. Until then.." I was yelling, with tears in my eyes. She was crying too. It kills me to see her like that. But she needed to know it.
I was about to leave when I heard a weak whisper "Stay.."
"I can't Carol."
I walked out with more pain than I came in with.

*

I don't remember the last time I saw her but I still have her face in front of my eyes, her smell in my nose.

What is this? I cannot explain that feeling.
Is it love maybe?