You and Me

Everything but nothing.

I was cutting my skin like I was ready to die..
Was I even alive?

*

-MONDAY-

I was not ready to face the world anymore. I was feeling so pathetic, but I couldn't even get up from my bed. My mom thought that I was sick, what was actually a good thing, I was not interested in talking about this all. My little sister always came to check upon me, what I found really adorable. She said that now, she is the big sister and I'm the baby. At least, she made my suffering easier to handle.

"Miaaa." She asked with her big bamby eyes. "Can I cuddle up witch you? Pweeees.."
"Yeah come here Bambi.." She always makes me smile even in the rough times.

We decided - SHE DECIDED - that it will help me to watch her favorite Disney movie, Frozen. We were lying in my double bed with millions of fluffy blankets that I LOVE and also many with pillows. It felt cozy.. Actually, it helped me. Watching her expression, her eyes lid up everytime her favorite character, a.k.a Elsa was on. Listening to my lil sis singing with the other characters was amazing.

When the movie ended, ste looked me in the eyes and told me: "You know how Elsa saved Anna and Anna saved Elsa.. Sisters are here for each other and their love is stronger than other loves. We're sisters.." ..she hugged me.."..so, don't be sad please, I'll take care of you."

This was the sweetest and the most emotional thing I've ever heard. She's turning 3. Are you fucking kidding me, she is such a genius, that scares the fuck out of me me.
"Why do you think that I'm sad Audrey?"
"I just feel it.. WAIT." She ran out from my room and after a few seconds she was back with Mr. Brownie in her hands. "Mia, I want to give him to you, so when you're sad, you just cuddle up with him and you'll feel better."
"AWWWWW Audrey!! But.. Isn't Mr. Brownie your favorite?"
"I still have Miss Piggy, don't worry." It's horribly scary how smart she is. SHE IS STILL ONLY 2!!! Our brother Jake is 15 and is such a jerk. Like the jerk of jerks.. Unbelievable.

*

A week later I had to go to school but tried to avoid HER.

"Mia, Miss Rooney was asking if you're okay.. She wanted to know why you are not attending her lessons."
"Look Court, I have better things to do."
"If you think s-"
I got chills all over my body, because I realised that we were not standing there alone.
"Courtney, sweetie, can you please leave us alone for a second?"
"Of course Miss Rooney!" With a wink she left.

"Amel-"
"What do you want." My voice was cold, couldn't make an eye contact with her.
"Amelia, please I need to talk with you."
"But I don't want to. If you don't mind, I have things to do."
"Wait. Please." She wasn't whispering anymore, by grabbing my wrist hard, I finally made an eye contact with her.
"Let me go!"
"I won't let you go, I need to talk with you. Alone. Don't be stubborn!"
"I'm fucking stubborn right. Stop with this shit, I don't want to talk, especially with you."
When I tried to leave she squeezed my wrist even stronger and my sweater run up, so my scars were visible.
"Amelia..?"
"Shut up!! Leave me alone!l I run away and left her standing there alone.

*

I was lucky that that week our winter holiday began, so I had nothing to do but relax and try to pick myself up.

My mom, brother and even my little sister left for a ski trip. Obviously just to relax and wanted me to go with them but I didn't feel like going anywhere.

I was was lying in my bed when I heard the front door ringing.
"I'm coming!" Who the fuck is this? I opened the door and saw somebody I wanted to see the least.
"What the fuck are you doing here?"
"Amelia can I come in please. Please." Her voice was breaking and I don't know why, but that made my heart broke as well.
I took her to the living room that was obviously familiar to her.
"Okay, what do you want?" I was cold. Colder that I thought I ever could be.
"Look. I was a total stupid jerk. I want to make things right." She looked me in the eyes with such honesty and warmth. "I do.. I do feel something for you. I was, I'm still confused because first of all, you're my student and I never felt like this. I was scared so I said words I didn't, never.. I said things that I would never ever say." She suddenly stopped her monologue, took few steps forward me, took my head in her palms and deeply looked me in the eyes.
The fact that she was wearing her high heel, by the way as I mentioned before, she was taller even without them, made me turn on even more. Unbelievable that even though I was mad at her, I still loved her.
She leaned over and kissed me. God, how I missed those lips..