You and Me

In This Burning House.

There's nothing left, but the lipstick on my lips

*

I took it in my hands and it said:

xxx 

Dearest,

You will think it is harsh of me to say so, but no explanation I offer will satisfy you. My heart breaks, believe me it is not easy to say, but we cannot see each other anymore, there cannot be any contact made between us. Life does not always offer us simple solutions, we often have to fight hard to get what we seek the most. I have never felt more at home with you during a single night, than with different human beings during my whole life. There are no accidents and everything comes full circle soon; my heart is the only place I can hold tight. I know that nothing will make the pain I caused you go away, but believe me, my darling, this is nothing compared to the pain I would cause you if we stayed together. You're so young, I cannot let myself to destroy a blooming life. I hope you will find someone better, someone close to your age, who will love you unconditionally; until then, please forget about my existence. I release you, my love, fly away.

Carol

xxx

I read the letter a few more times, but then I couldn't see much, because my eyes were full with tears that were already falling down my cheeks on the little note like diamonds. I don't understand this. I don't understand anything at all. Everything was fine, she came to me and now, she left me? I took my phone and called her, of course she turned her phone off. I hope that I will meet her this Monday. 

Carol what have you done, don't you know that you're my air and I can't breath without you? I curled up in my bed and closed my swollen eyes.

*

- Monday -

I quickly got ready and headed to my school. I was running down the hallway looking for her. She was not in the teacher room, like she got lost but luckily our first lesson was Biology so I made my way to the classroom, sat down and waited for her.

When I heard the doors opening my heart started to beat like crazy, but it was not the person I wanted to see. It was a young man holding books and smiling awkwardly. "Hello class, I'm Mr John Markman and I'm your new Biology teacher." The whole class was confused, since everybody loved Carol. Someone asked that where she is and he said: "She left the school don't you know? The week when the winter vacations started, but don't worry, we will have fun." Oh I already hate him. I hate his awkward pig face.

After the lesson I ran into the office of the schools secretary. "Hello Miss Bennet. I really need your help. I know that Miss Rooney did quit her job, but I really need to contact her. Can you please give me her address?" She looked at me. "My dear, I'm sorry, but the school can't give informations about the employees to anybody." I started panicking. "Please, it's emergency." It's so hard to hold up he tears sometimes. "As I sad, I can't do anything." She looked at me and I simply just said a thank you and left. I ran into the restroom. My back hit the cold wall, I sat down, held up my knees to my face and wished that I couldn't feel anything.

*

- 6 moths later -

Tomorrow will be last day of my high school years. The past 6 months were freaking hard, but I worked it out. I turned 19, got my first ever apartment from my mom and today is the the last day of packing and moving out. I got an apartment in the same city I've lived in, New York City, in a peaceful environment, just a few streets from my "old" house and school. I have many little parks around and that's just great. I figured out that I want to be a writer, I already got accepted to a college.

I took my last box out of my car and took it upstairs. I started unpacking it when I saw things that reminded me of someone. Someone I've tried to contact these months. 

..HER..