dear diary,
today was weird. i felt weird.. but then again when is my life not weird?
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I hoist myself up onto the counter, unsuccessfully reaching for the bright yellow box. My fingers barely graze the lid when I hear footsteps coming my way.
"Excuse me miss, what are you doing here?"
"I... Just.. Need," a sharp pain shoots up my leg and into my stomach, causing me to lose my grip on the slippery marble surface.
I land on my side with a loud thud. Gripping my hip, I open my mouth to scream, but nothing comes out. Just faint, wheezing noises. I realize I can't breathe. Medics are now at my side, one's hovering over my face, shining a bright light into my pupils. He says something that I can't hear, but can read, Can you hear me? I shake my head, letting out a few gurgling sounds. I feel a warm liquid rush down my cheeks and into my ears. I let out a cry of anguish as they try placing me on a gurney.
"Stop it! You're hurting her!"
I do here this voice, Peter's voice.
"What do you want us to do, Cade?"
"Just.. we're doing it here! Bring me some anesthetics, you know what else to grab." he demands, voice laced with worry.
I limply snatch at his hand, "P-Peter."
"Hayden? Oh god. Just, don't talk."
"Am. A-am.."
"Hayden you're not going to die!"
I mean I wasn't going to ask that, but thanks for the reassurance.
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"Do you ever think of, what if?"
"What?"
I turn around, balancing my head on my hand.
"What if. Like, what if you didn't have a tumor. What if you were just like any other ordinary person?"
"I don't like to think of 'what if'"
Peter looks hard into my eyes, "Why's that?"
"Because then I have to think of what is. And what is, is fucking morbid."
We don't talk for a while after that. He just stares at me. Eventually I fall asleep and he lets me. When I wake up, he's gone. But there's a note placed on my books,
Get your sorry ass
out of that gown and meet
me outside.
– P. Cade
Sliding out of my slippers, I rip off my gown and throw on a navy blue t-shirt. I grab some sweats and a pair of shoes as I make my way out the window.
