Dear...

Dear Boy who is blind,

Sometimes I wonder about you. I wonder how you don't see how wonderful you are. Honestly, it astounds me how much you've missed.
One day I hope to show you this letter, because a part of me (a large part of me) wants us to be endgame.
But for now I'll tell you of the things you missed.
I have liked you for most of my life, close enough to even say I've been in love with you.
There are moments that I have saved in my mind, just itching to tell you.
I don't remember the exact day that we met, or the day you became a crush. I do however remember the exact moment you became someone I liked instead of just a crush. I was writing on a piece of paper something that I can't remember now, but everyone with brown eyes was dismissed. Over course I was so into whatever I was doing I did not move, but you walked over to me and put your hands on my desk. I looked up slightly and there you stared into my eyes. "Your eyes are brown." You said, still staring at my eyes. And now I was in this movie trance, looking into your eyes. I shook my head trying to lose my gaze and sharply said "I know."
That was the moment my heart was stolen. I remember the feeling, those butterflies in my stomach, they traveled to my ears. Filling my brain with thoughts. Like "Oh shit no" and "Maybe he feels it too".
Not long later another moment happened. I was sitting on a basket ball court gossiping to a friend about a boy that didn't  matter. A basketball came straight for my head I didn't flinch or scream like the girl next to me I stayed calm unmoved. Three inches from my face a pair of hands grabbed it. I looked up and there you were again. Saving me. In my mind you smiled and turned the other way leaving me alone with my thoughts, in reality I was baffled, still alone with my thoughts.
I remember countless times in which you made a stupid joke and I laughed because to me they were funny, I remember squeezing my way into lines, trying to get close to you.
Once I succeeded and we sat cross legged in what was supposed to be a concert. They played some Michael Jackson and of course I belted it out for you. You laughed, a small laugh but still you did not know the song. They later played some country song and you sang it for me nudging me with your legs, amazed at the fact I didn't know it. Again I realized something, I would love to amaze you. I would love to be the person that you you nudge and smile at, and just for a second I was.
And now the emails, you remember right the ones that laid out our summers? I remember getting up at the crack of dawn, sneaking my ds to email you. They weren't special, but they were enough to keep me going. Enough to not fall into a spiral.
Now that I think of it, it was because of you that I started writing. I missed you so much that I made a character just like you. He was kind, smart, a little stubborn and willing to do anything to do anything for his friends. He was you.
Recently we've gotten back in touch. And it pleases me. But what pleases me most is that you still know me, you know what makes me feel better and what makes me laugh. Just the other day I told you to brighten my day and you told me I was one of the most beautiful people you'd ever met physically and emotionally.
One day I hope to read this and see you sitting next to me. But that is only a dream, so for now I shall dream with my eyes open blind boy, to catch memories for the both of us.
Sincerely,
The girl who waits for you to see.

Ps. Maybe one day you'll write a letter about me, and I'll read it even if it's a good bye.
PPS. (A list of details that make me fangirl)
1. Your rough hands
2. You asked me if I'd date Jabba the Hutt
3. You've had the same hircut since you were six
4. You make silly faces at me
5.You try to sound professional in emails
6. You liked my story plot line
7. You never pressure me to tell you what's wrong
8. You wake up at the crack of dawn
9. Your lips are just as chapped as mine
10. You never asked me for anything
11. You don't tell anyone it's your birthday, but you secretly wait for my email
12. Our gif wars.
13. You read
14. You always ask me if I've been kissed and I always say no.