I suppose I never truly understood you all. You were all always so angry, changing your outfits and styles what seemed like every time you sneezed. And the music oh god, the horrid I'm fucking sluts music.
But recently I think I finally, after all this time became one of you.
Last night, I sat in the car with an actual teenage friend, and she blared an I fuck sluts song. We raced through traffic lights, and I stuck my head out the window, screaming at the top of my lungs each lyric I knew. And I realized something. I'd never felt more free in my life, I'd never felt so alive. I could do anything I was flying on adrenaline, my heart was beating out of my chest and I felt like I could breathe. After so long, I hadn't realized if been holding my breath.
I'd never really understood the I love you after three days, what I call the teenager I love you. But there is nothing like new love, it's new adventures and the thing is its not just a new person to share these adventures with its entirely new. And it's beautiful.
As for the anger. As someone who is never angry I find myself more and more as the teen days pass. But I think it comes from no one telling me how it would feel to be this way. From keeping the joy of car rides and new love. But also for not preparing me for first heartbreak or the moment the fog was lifted.
The fog, as I see it, is the moment when you stop being a child, the true moment. It'd the moment when you realize that your mom is actually not the nicest lady of when upgrade realize your dad is sort of a prick. It's the moment you realize everyone on your family is either a druggy or a drunk and you'll probably end up that way. It's the moment when people around start talking about depression and mental health issues. Simply It's the moment everything is rated R, your mom didn't let you be here, and yet here you are because it was everything you'd dreamed of and now you're stuck. I understand the anger.
The clothes I'm still getting to, but I think I understand now and I'm sorry for all the times before.
Sincerely,
One of you
YOU ARE READING
Dear...
RandomI will try to write a letter every month. Each letter about something different addressed to someone different, and signed by a different part of me. Some will be heartfelt and uplifting, others snarky and sarcastic. Some sad and others mad. There...
