DIRTY LAUNDRY

hell is a feeling

I was burning in a hell of disappointment and the flames killed me slowly so I felt every ounce of pain it had to offer

It was on December 27 , that I lost her
I didn't know how much affection could cost her sanity
I am merely a vanity of everything I could never be
I feel like life shown me what I could have only to take it away from me
I feel like life knew that it could really break me today my spirit is crying and I am trying to hold in the tears

I am schizophrenia daughter.
I am not into the waters.
This frustration is embellishing an imprint from a fucking sterling silver bow ring pressing it into the inside of my fingers to remind myself that not all pain lingers.

But if I cant escape you then allow me to at least break you so you can perish like I did.
I told myself I would never have fucking kids so they wont be an origin of agony maybe you really did love her.

Did I love my guy did the absence of a sorry or maybe a goodbye give us hope
I knew that I could cope but "essence if u ever think your going to be good enough for anyone the answer is nope"you are the tree and your ambiguity was the rope and you left me hanging.

Here I am paying my respects to a girl that just want to breathe in a suffocating world of sadness
no explanation you can utter.

There is nothing you can say because it took nothing for you to forget me in the duration of a day//E.B.