DIRTY LAUNDRY

the sight of ur face

I just want you to see my face....
and I want it to haunt you

I want your blood to run cold
and I want your heart to beat out of your ribs in your chest onto the pavement
so I can grasp it
and crush it in the palm of my hands

and I need you to watch me do it
so you can undergo and spectate
with your own eyes
with ur god forsaken pupils
how you sabotaged me
how you just watched me suffer in silence
as I reached out to you with out stretched limbs and you pushed them away

I created a mockery of myself to individuals who can care less
and I ultimately forced myself to confess instead of regress the feelings I hidden within the depths of my being
then I developed the urge to plummet into the sea of lunacy

I choose vengeance
in all its magnificent glory
in all its fruitful magnitude

I want to see ur face
so I can look into ur atman
so I can engrave my appearance in your pre-fontal cortex
and I want that memory to ricochet off its walls and recollect every time you blink while you look at her
I want her smile to trigger alarms of several hundred memories of me
and I want your face to scrounge up in her company while you experience this

I want you to think about me while you kiss her
so that her lips can feel similar to mine
and you will turn away
and she will think she did something of disapproval
and you will scowl in disgust

but I need to see your face
when I walk into ur vicinity in a intimate setting and you have no where to hide
so you must bear the slideshows of the memories of you thrusting your tongue inside of me going at the speed of light
and you will hold your face
but don't do that because I need to see it
so I can get the satisfaction of watching u suffer like I did
I need to see your face
to let you know you will forever see mine
etched into the chambers of your mind
even if you did go blind //E.B.