Song: For Him. By: Troye Sivan.
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Alex's POV,
"I don't want to talk about it." I shake my head. Maggie and Faith are begging me to tell them about today.
"But Al, you know we are very curious girls." Faith whines.
"Just if you think of something stupid, just let it out alright?" Maggie said as I nod.
"So Alex, you have an appointment to check out a flat, yeah?" Faith winks.
"You guys are coming with me obviously." I smile. They give me confused looks. "Don't tell me I'm going to buy a flat and not let you guys live there with me?" I ask them as the scream/squeal.
"Omg, I need to give you money." Maggie panics.
"No you don't." I say.
"Uhh yes we do." Faith said going in her purse.
"No, every month we all pay half, easy." I say.
"Fine." They both groan.
"Is it big?" Maggie asks.
"It's huge, Mags, three bedrooms, three ensuites, huge wardrobes, a big kitchen, a beautiful lounge area, and the lighting there is incredible." I explain.
As soon as I know it we are back in Plymouth, I went into the hotel room and started packing my shit. Even though I know it will be maybe a couple days till we could do papers and stuff I'm just so exited, living with my two bestfriends in an enormous flat!
Emily texted me that she's staying the night back home. Maggie and Faith left me here so they could tell their parents and hopefully accept the fact their living with me. Soon my phone starts ringing I expect it to be Brad, but it was Tris. I pick up and he blows up with questions.
"You're right, Tris, he's an asshole." I mumble.
"What the hell did he do to you." Tris asked.
"Not only did he kiss me, he's dating Lauren from Fifth Harmony, but I think I've fallen for him Tris and I can't control it." I crack.
"They can't be dating." Tristan said.
"Have you seen their tweets? For a matter of fact some Harmonizers leaked their DM's through Twitter." I tell him, now I feel tears streaming down my eyes.
"She's literally got with everyone, James, Brad, Louis from One Direction, and there's many more that I've missed." Tris explains.
"There probably be another article about me and Brad, he took me to the bloody fair and paparazzi was there." I roll my eyes like Tris was actually looking at me.
"Do you want me to come over?" Tris asks.
"Please?" I beg.
"I'll be there in five, beauts." He tells me as I hang up.
I throw my phone on my bed and let out all of my tears, then I crave something I haven't did in a long time.
"Where's my blade?" I mumble looking for it all around the cupboards, soon I found it in my bathroom.
This will help, it will take all the bad away. I hear something in my head say. I can't do it on my wrists, but I could do it on my thighs. I slip off my jeans and find a spot, the scars remind me of shit that's happened in the past. Then I cut.
First cut... A pinch.
Second cut... Another pinch.
Third cut... Not much.
Fourth cut... Nothing at all.
The Fifth and Sixth didn't matter anymore, now I wasn't 1 year clean anymore. I see the thick blood drip down my thighs. Soon I hear foot steps and calling my name.
"Alex? Alex!" I hear Tris call me, fuck he can't see me like this. Soon he opens the bathroom door and sees the blood on my hands and thighs with me holding my blade.
"Alex, no." He says in shock. He picks me up bridle style not caring if I'm in my knickers. He puts me on the counter top and gets soap and water on a napkin and starts to clean off my blood.
"Why?" He asks, I soon see tears start to fall from his face.
"It was the only way, Tris." I tell him as tears fell from my face, makeup was probably dripping off.
"It's not! Think of all the people you could have hurt, if they knew you did this!" Tristan explains.
"It's an addiction, Tris." I tell him.
"Just know before you do anything to yourself think of me, Maggie, Faith, Con, James and Brad, or all the other people that would be devastated to see you like that." He tells me, he find bandages and covers my deep cuts with them.
"Thank you." I mumble still sitting on the counter top.
"I did it because you mean the world to me." Tristan says.
He looks in my eyes, I'm lost for words. I've never noticed how clear and blue his eyes are. How his jawline is perfectly carved. Soon I feel our faces getting closer and closer. I feel his breath on mine. Our lips connect and something inside of me says he's right for you, but another part says, you're doing this cause you're hurt. His lips don't feel like Brad's, it feel like.. I don't know. Soon I know I'm just doing this because I love Brad. I love him.
I pull away leaving a sorry look on Tris' face.
"I'm so sorry." He tells me frightened.
"I just did this cause I'm hurt. I'm sorry Tris, I didn't mean to hurt you." I explain as his face goes red.
"You love him don't you." He asks.
"I don't know okay? It's so hard to explain." I tell him jumping off of the counter top, and I still have no pants on. I go into my draws and take out my sweat pants and slip them on.
"Because if you loved me then you wouldn't have pulled away." He tells me.
"I do love you, Tris! But I also love Brad." I tell him a bit annoyed.
"I truly love you." He explains. I look at him surprised. "I knew you never felt the same." He tells me, he walks away leaving me with mixed emotions.
"What the fuck just happened?" I ask myself.
++++++++++
Exams.... Exams.... And Exams😑
-Alex xx
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