"I dunno," Jeremy said. "I guess I am acting a bit weird. Let's just watch TV, okay?"
"Fine," I agreed, clicking play. Jeremy rolled towards me and put his arm around my stomach. "Why you always touch me there?"
"Um.. I just like to cuddle," he said. I blinked back to the TV. "Let's do something!" he groaned.
"Like what?" I asked, pausing the show.
"I dunno. Anything. We could go to.. uh.. We could go to the park.. or we could go to the movies or something."
"Movie then park?" I suggested. He nodded.
"Then I'll make you lunch," he said. I smiled and nodded. He jumped up and ran to get his mom's car keys. I followed him out to her car and got in.
"I don't even know what they're showing," I said.
"This is how I usually watch movies. I just go and see what's playing and then pick one. I have a horrible taste in movies, so it makes it hard to pick something I wanna see, so I let them limit me."
"Ookay.."
-
Once we sat down, Jeremy's arm and my arm bumped as we both tried to use the armrest.
I looked at him. "It's my armrest," I said. He shook his head and elbowed me off.
"Mine."
"No-"
"Benjamin-"
"Fine," I sighed. "Move your arm forward and then we can both use it," I said. He did as I suggested and we both looked up at the screen.
"I should turn off my phone," he said, elbowing me as he moved to get his phone out of his pocket.
"Ow," I said. He looked at me.
"You're such a wimp," he said. I shrugged and put my head back.
-
"That was a good movie," I said, looking at him as the credits rolled. He nodded and stood up. I jumped up and followed him out of the theater.
Jeremy hopped in the car and cranked it. I slid into the passengers seat and yawned. "Movies make me sleepy," I said. He smiled at me.
"Good."
"Why is that good?"
"I dunno," he shrugged. As he drove to the park, we were both silent. I tried to keep my eyes open.
-
"Benji, wakey wakey.." Jeremy hummed in my ear. I jumped and grabbed his arm. He smiled at me. We were at the park and he had gotten out and walked around to my side of the car. He had the door open and he was leaning across my lap.
I grunted and heaved myself out of the car. Jeremy shut the door and lead me into the park. He grabbed my hand in his and pulled me along the trail.
"Jeremy, those kids and their moms are staring at us," I said.
"Okay? So?"
"It's because we're holding hands. Let go," I said. He looked at me and frowned.
"You don't wanna be seen holding hands with me?"
"Well.."
"I get it," he snapped, letting go of my hand and shoving his in his pocket.
"Jeremy! That's not what I meant," I said. "You didn't even let me get started."
"You didn't need to say anything."
"Jeremy, listen. I want the whole world to know that you're my best friend, and you're a gay little beast that likes to hold hands and cuddle."
"I'm a 'gay little beast?'" he asked.
I laughed. "It's too hard for me to explain." I grabbed his wrist and pulled his hand out of his pocket. I locked our fingers together.
We went by the moms again, who just stared at us. "I wish they'd either say something or stop staring," Jeremy sighed. I nodded.
"Remember when we kissed?" I asked.
"When Neil dared us or when we were alone and we almost-"
"When Neil dared us," I said. He nodded. "You kissed me and I was so embarrassed. I tried to tell myself I wasn't.. but I was. I was so shocked that you actually put your lips on mine. I never kissed anybody before.."
"You've never kissed anyone?"
"No," I admitted. Jeremy smiled and grabbed my jaw. "Jeremy!" I hissed. He smiled and squeezed my hand.
"Okay, just do what you think you should do," he said. I broke in to a sweat. Jeremy pulled my face closer to his. Our lips met and I trembled. I kissed back as his hand trailed to my neck.
I heard the moms yelling to their kids. One of them said, "Don't look at them!"
Jeremy tried to slide his tongue in my mouth, but I backed away. He blinked and looked at the ground. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done this."
"No, it's okay.." I said. "I wanted to kiss you," I said quietly.
"What are we doing?" he sighed, closing his eyes.
"I don't know," I said, shaking my head. "Jeremy, I liked that.." I confessed.
"Wanna do it again?"
"I don't think we should.." I said, wiggling my hand out of his. He nodded a bit.
"Yeah.. Yeah, you're right."
"Let's um.. Let's just go back to your place?"
"Yeah.." he nodded, leading me toward the car.
-
"Want a grilled cheese?" he asked. I nodded silently. "You can talk to me.." he said. "I won't bite you just because we kissed.."
I replied, "I know." It fell quiet. I played with my thumbs. Jeremy kept cooking. He began to hum.
"I can't get my feet up off the edge
I kind of like the little rush you get
When you're standing close to death
Like when you're driving me crazy."
He flipped the grilled cheese over and skipped over a couple lines.
"Bite your lips, your words a robbery
Do you grin inside? You're killing me."
I murmured the words quietly as he sang.
"I can't keep your voice out of my head
All I hear are the many echoes of
The darkest words you said
And it's driving me crazy."
When he got to the bridge, I sang with him. "We'll stagger home after midnight
Sleep arm-in-arm in the stairwell
We'll fall apart on the weekend
These nights go on and on and on."
