One Lucky Winner

Chapter 49 ~ Hermione

Day 5
2:47 AM

I suddenly open my eyes, awake for an unknown reason. I look around. It's still dark out.

How long was I asleep? Could've been hours. Or, it could've been only a few minutes. I wish there was a giant clock in the sky so I could know the time.

I roll over and close my eyes, hoping for sleep to come again. I'm chilly. I'm so thankful for my blanket. It's the softest thing I've ever felt. It's huge - has to be king size. I'm in love with the thing.

After a few minutes of trying to sleep, I give up. I'm not tired at all. Newt should've let me take watch. I turn my head and look at him. He's still sitting against that tree, the expression on his face scary blank. I fell asleep with him exactly looking like that, which tells me I've been asleep for not very long. 

I feel so bad for him. I want to go over there and talk to him, but at the same time I feel like I'd be bothering him. He looks so sad, though. I could probably cheer him up if I really tried.

He seemed so dazed after Minho died. He's so quiet too; he didn't cry much or talk or anything. I feel horrible for him. The more a think of it the more I think I should go over there and talk to him. This could be my chance to really connect with him. I'm probably going to die in a couple days, so I have to live it up. It's meant to be, too. There's another tree right next to the one he's leaning on. A tree for him to sit against, a tree for me to sit against. How perfect.

Inspired by my own thoughts, I sit up and look at Newt.

"Hey," I force myself to say.

He looks at me, startled. The situation reminds me of when we first met, in the training center. I immediately get sad. Ron was alive then.

"You need me to take over now?" I say, trying to sound warm and welcoming, but probably just rubbing off as nervous. I'm scared of how he'll react.

"No," he says darkly. "I already told you. I won't sleep. Go back to sleep." He sounds annoyed.

I feel a hint of sadness, but it goes just as quick as it came. He's just in a mood. His best friend just died, for God's sake. Of course he's in a bad mood. He seems like a guy who's grumpy quite frequently. I should get used to it.

"Well, I woke up," I say idiotically.

He looks at me, his eyes cold. "I see that," he snaps at me.

I feel a twinge of pain. He looks back down at the ground. My motivation to cheer him up is gone. Suddenly tired, I want to lay back down. But how stupid would that look? I can't do that.

I shake my head at myself. What'd I expect? That he'd be all warm and friendly? No. Not at all. I need to approach him. I need to make the move myself. And if I'm too awkward and dumb, oh well. We'll both be dead in a couple days anyways. It won't matter at all.

I stand up, bringing my black blanket with me. I walk over to him and sit down right next to him, shoulder to shoulder. He looks at me once again, startled and slightly annoyed. I've never been this close to him since we first met. My heart beats so fast, I can hear it in my ears.

"How long have I been asleep?" I ask him causally.

"Half an hour or so," he mumbles to the ground. His voice is so flawless.

"Really? This night is going so long," I say quietly.

"Tell me about it," he grumbles, looking at the ground. He seems so stiff. I know I'm making him uncomfortable. Maybe I should leave. I know he's holding in his feelings. But who am I to speak about that? I've been suppressing my feelings ever since Ron died.