Someone, Somewhere

Tit for tat

I turned to face a very, very angry James. He didn't look pleased at all. Well I wasn't surprised because of what had just happened, but I didn't expect this much anger.

"Why?" He asked "why didn't you tell me?".

To tell the truth, I didn't actually know why I hadn't told him.

"Because, everything is, well was going perfect. And I didn't want to ruin that. I wanted to see if we'd even last longer than a couple of weeks, trust me I really hope we do, because this sort of stuff could change everything." I felt myself tear up, I wasn't crying. I wouldn't let myself.

"You'd probably never have trusted me if I told you point blank what I'd done, I guess you don't now, but that's not even the point. I wanted to see if we could build a strong relationship before I told you about what I'd done and what'd happened to me, but no. My asshole brother had to tell you about me using and being arrested, I didn't mind telling you about what had happened with Pete because you needed to be aware that I will more than likely struggle in that department when it comes to it. For fuck sake, why are relationships so hard?!"

I put my head into my hands and let the tears fall silently, I didn't particularly want him to see me cry properly, as I had managed not to for almost a week. Danny's the only one who's seen me cry properly out of the guys, unless you count Ben of course.

I felt the mattress dip and his arms encircle me, pulling me into a hug. His hand stroked the back of my head and rubbed my back, I wrapped my arms around his waist and just sobbed into his chest (as he was shirtless, due to the fact I had his shirt on).

"This doesn't have to be hard you know" he said softly "and I completely understand why you didn't tell me before and why you wanted to wait to tell me. I've done some things that I'm not proud of that I've not told you, not as extreme as yours but still".

I pulled away and looked up at him, he was crying too.

"Like what?" I asked, in all fairness it is now tit for tat.

"About a year ago me and the guys were at a party, someone kept spiking my drinks and I ended up overdosing. And about 4 months ago my cousins boyfriend and me got into a massive fight and I'm now exiled from their lives. Not as extreme, but you get the picture."

I was completely shocked, the fight yeah I can understand if the bloke was a total arse wipe. But the overdose? That was definitely worse than mine.

"You overdosed? How bad?" I asked, I just couldn't get over that he had.

"I was out for about 3 weeks due to the fact I nearly died, I had my stomach pumped and I had to be monitored for 2 weeks afterwards" he replied with ease, like he was used to telling the story.

"Oh.... So if you'd have died I wouldn't have my amazing boyfriend? I don't see how that's any better than being arrested?" I said sarcastically. I had a very good point though, if he had died he wouldn't be sat here with me right now and I would probably have ended up being Danny's girlfriend. That wasn't a nice image, don't get me wrong I love Danny, I just wouldn't be his girlfriend.

He nodded and looked down, he was clearly upset at the thought.

I placed both of my hands either side of his face and leant my forehead against his. "You don't ever have to feel ashamed about that, I'm not gonna leave you because of it. I certainly hope you won't leave me for the stupid shit that I've done. But baby, trust me, I couldn't care less if you'd done it to yourself because I know that's not who you are now" I said softly to him. "Now show me those beautiful eyes and kiss me before I get Ben to drive me home" I added happily making him smile.

He opened his eyes and looked into mine, his eyes were practically smiling (if that's possible) at me, and he brought his lips into mine kissing me softly. It was only a short kiss as he understood why I needed to go home.

"I'll be round later okay?" He said as he pulled away. "Okay" I smiled at him.

"Can I come in or should I leave?" I heard Cam say through the door, shit if forgotten he was out there.

"You can go mate, I'll bring her down" James said in reply whilst standing.

He slid one arm under my leg and the other around my waist, I grabbed my crutches and he slowly lifted me into his arms. He slowly did the stairs and put me down at the bottom.

I hobbled my way into the lounge as James went and got my stuff for me. "Ben fancy driving me home and going and seeing what she's so arsey about?" I asked Ben whilst leaning on my crutches. "Yeah, where are your keys?" H asked, "in my jumper pocket" I replied as James came through the door.

"I'll see you in a bit beautiful" he said before he softly kissed me once again and passed Ben my bag.

All the guys hugged me and said goodbye, we had invited the rest of them round as we got on so well. Sam showed us out and watched us back off of the drive.

The drive him was longer than I thought it would be, mainly because Ben drove like miss daisy but also because we were absolutely shitting ourselves about what argument would erupt when we walked through the doors of our house.