Bulag, Pipi at Bingi

Too much light in this window,

Don’t Wake Me Up,

Only coffee no sugar inside my cup,

If I wake and you here still gimme a kiss,

I wasn't finished dreamin’ about your lips,

Unti-unti kong dinilat yung mga mata ko. Daeff. Disoriented, I looked around the room. Narinig ko yung ringtone ng cell phone ko ayaw tumigil. Sino ba kasing matinong taong—Tapos napatitig ako sa lalaking nasa tabi ko. My eyes grew wide. Napalunok ako parang may bumara sa lalamunan ko.

Don’t wake me up, up, up, up… Don’t wake me!

Natatarantang hinagilap ko yung phone ko. Ayaw tumigil ni Chris Brown. Nasan ko ba nailagay yon? Napatingin ako sa bedside table. I reached out for it. Pero hindi ko mai-extend yung kamay ko kasi… kasi yung kamay ni Marcus mahigpit na nakahawak sa isa kong kamay. How could he hold me this tight in his sleep?

Naihilamos ko na lang yung isa kong kamay sa mukha ko. Napatingin ako sa orasan. Shit, shit, shit. I gritted my teeth. Mabilis akong napatayo. Anong oras na? 7am na! Nakatulog ako? Dito? Malelate na naman ako! I untangled my hand from his.

Too much light in this window,

Don’t Wake Me Up,

Only coffee no sugar inside my cup,

If I wake and you here still gimme a kiss,

I wasn't finished dreamin’ about your lips,

Napalingon na ako sa cell phone ko. Gusto kong tumawa. I looked at him. And Chris’ Brown’s voice reverberated in the air. I wasn’t finished dreaming about your lips…Inis na tinuktukan ko yung noo ko. You’re so stupid Mitch. Stupid. Sa ngayon, dilat na dilat na ang mga mata ko. And I wasn’t even sure if that was a good idea. I answered the persistent call, “Hello?”

“Nandyan ka na naman ba? Oh my God, Mitch. Hindi ka na ba magsasawa?”

I sighed heavily. “After work didiretso ako diyan Trin.”

“After work? O after mong manggaling diyan?”

Bumuntung-hininga ako. Hindi ko rin naman masisisi yung bestfriend ko. Kasi kahit ako sa sarili ko hindi ko din maintindihan. I smiled at him. The crease on his forehead was always there. Kahit natutulog siya para bang may inaalala siya. I put my thumb there and tried to smooth the lines. Hindi ko alam kung imagination ko lang ba iyon. But his forehead relaxed a little. Yumuko ako at bumulong para magpaalam. Just like what I always did for the past six months.

 

For the past six months.

 Tumayo si Maureen sa gilid ko habang nag-aayos ng files. “Narinig mo na ba yung balita?”