Relapse (Luke Hemmings)

Chapter 7. Things

~~~~Luke's POV~~~~
I let Nicole spend time with Dottie. I didn't want to intrude on their girly talks and stuff like that so I just went over to Michael's. I wanted to play FIFA anyways, and maybe have some one on one bro time like we use to have.
Ashton and Calum have been practicing a lot lately because we've gotten bigger shows with bigger crowds. I wonder if I took Nicole with me and announced she was my girl friend that the crowed would be nice and support her. I get messages everyday about how "hot" I am and girls all around the world asking me out and those are the ones I don't normally reply to because I hate not being able to tell people about Nicole. I will one day. I just can't take her on tour with me. I'll probably announce it on the last show, yeah sounds like a good plan.
I've thought about announcing Nicole for the entire drive to Michaels house. I guess my brain has routed me subconsciously to his house, it comes in handy when I'm in deep thought.
I park my car and enter Michael's house. "Hey, I'm intruding your house right now because I can!" I yelled, "oh and this is Luke," I added still yelling.
"Luke, I'm right here," Michael said popping his head up from the couch.
"Woah," I said taken back, "new hair, oh my god! When did you do this?" I questioned Michael walking towards him. His hair is shorter than it was and it's now dark blue. He should've consulted me about this.
"I did this a couple days ago," Michael tells me sitting up fully. "It's better than having thinning looking hair, potentially balding. My hair looks fuller now," he explains to me.
"Well yeah, it does look good. I'm just gonna have to get used to it is all," I tell him taking a seat beside him. "When's Calum and Ashton going to move in? Have you asked them about that yet?" I asked Michael remembering what he's said a little bit ago.
    "They told me that they will be able to move in a couple weeks time," Michael informs me picking up a wii controller.
    "That's good to know," I respond repeating Michaels action and hooked the television up to the wii so we could play FIFA.
     That's all Michael and I did for the day. We talked and played FIFA because why not. It was around 7:28pm by the time I looked at my phone. No messages from Nicole.
    "I hope she's okay," I said to myself opening my phone and making sure that I didn't forget to text back. I didn't.
     iMessage to Nicole
Hey, I'll be at Michaels playing FIFA so if you need me spam me with calls and messages.
Read at 4:20pm
    iMessage from Nicole
Okay. I'll just be here with Dottie. You know I answer right away lol.
Read at 4:21pm
     iMessage to Nicole
Have fun see you later tonight or in the morning.
Read at 4:23pm
      And that was our conversation 3 hours ago. I wonder if I should text her. I don't want to annoy her any, I'll wait a couple more minutes and check in... Nah I'll check in now. I thought to myself as I looked at my phone.
    iMessage to Nicole
Hey, just making sure you're okay. I've missed you, I hope you're having fun.
Delivered
   I snoozed my phone and looked back over to Michael who was staring at me. I couldn't tell if it was in disgust or he was plainly confused.
    "What?" I questioned him shoving my phone back in my pocket.
    "You're good to Nicole right?" Michael asked me causing me to be at a loss for words and turn red.
     "O-of course, why would I be anything less than to her? She's my everything and I love her," I explain to him. His question really caught me off guard.
     "Good, Nicole's like my sister. If you hurt her I hurt you physically and emotionally," Michael informs me. I continuously questioned him and his sudden question.
    "Why do you ask? Nicole and I have been dating ever since senior year. She's mine, I'm hers. Why didn't you ask me this when I first started dating her?" I questioned Michael more turning my body to face his direction.
    "Because I didn't want you to scare you away from her. Do you have any idea how much I ask her about you?" Michael laughs. "Since day one of you two dating I continuously asked her: is Luke being good to you? Do you feel like he loves you? Do you feel comfortable around him? Stuff like that. Now I just ask her occasionally how things are going, Luke she's falling, HARD," Michael tells me, she's falling hard. It took me a couple seconds to process what he was saying then I got it. My heart immediately broke and I looked down.
    "What's wrong with her? How can you tell?" I asked Michael tearing up a little. Every second thinking of Nicole going down to that place again haunts me. I know she hurt herself and she told me. It hurt hearing her cry. It hurts to know she's done that to herself. I want her to be happy. I want to be the reason she's happy. I want her to just be happy because she's alive. She makes me happy.
     "I can tell in her voice, I could tell by just looking into her eyes and her actions. She's confining herself again. We're going on tour in a month Luke. She needs to at least be lightened up a bit because she won't have you around," what Michael is telling me is scaring me. I just want to punch a wall right and and scream this is a dream and I wake up with my beautiful girlfriend beside me and she's happy. Why can't this work that way?
    I keep quiet and thought to myself. My thoughts made me want to just cry. I know what I'm about to do but I don't know how it's gonna go.
    "Luke are you okay?" Michael asks me. He apparently noticed the tears in my eyes.
    "I have to go, it was nice to play FIFA with you again. I'll try to do it some more, but I'm just gonna go,"  I told Michael, I tried to keep a steady voice but my voice cracked half way through my sentence. Before I could get a response from Michael I was already in my car driving home.
    I can't take Nicole being sad. It hurts. I try to convince myself she's happy, she's okay. When in reality she's not. U want her to be happy, I know she wants to be happy, she thinks it's impossible got her to be happy. I know she can be happy. It's just hard for her.
   As I thought about Nicole I started crying. I hated crying. I hate how it feels. I hate how your vision gets blurry. I hate the sounds you make. I just hate crying. I'm possibly the ugliest crier out there too. My face shrivels up into a prune, my nose, cheeks and ears turn red. The rest of my face turns paper white and I make the noises of a beached whale if I get to into it. Not very pretty.
    Once I pulled into the driveway I smooth my features out a bit but my eyes are still running faucets. I throw the door open and right there standing in the walkway dividing the kitchen from the living room was Nicole. I walked up to her and embraced her in a hug. I rest my lips on the top of her head. She was silent, but she hugged me back. She hugged me tight, I didn't want to let go. I wasn't gonna let go of her.
     "I wanna make you smile again."
___________________________
I know how I wanna write the last chapter of this book... There will be a third book.
Aaaahhhh I'm so excited you have no idea.
    Anyways thanks so much for reading you're amazing if.
    Write to ya next time.