Relapse (Luke Hemmings)

Chapter 16. I See Her!

~~~~Lukes POV~~~~
After the beginning band went off stage I started feeling a bit nervous. What if she's not here? I won't be able to play. I thought to myself. "Luke? You okay?" Michael asked me from behind patting me on the back. "Y-yeah, it's just, I hope she's here," I sigh looking down at my shoes, I need to clean them again. "I'm sure she is," Michael reassures me, I could tell he was giving me a sympathetic smile, he wouldn't know. "I hope she is," I said my thoughts aloud. I walk off backstage to clean the dirt off my shoes. If Nicole is here I want to look as clean and polished than when she last saw me.

When I finally got done the band had 5 more minutes till we had to go on so we did vocal exercises and made sure we knew what songs we were gonna play. Soon enough we were let on stage, Calum first, me second, Michael third with ashton running out behind him to get to his drums. I start scanning the crowd and looking through every face in every row possible and when I got towards the middle section more so to my left but Nicoles right I see her. The one that has kept me performing my hardest and waiting to see for the past couple of months. I gave her a smile in acknowledgement to let her know I see her too. She was in the second row, close but not close enough. I did tell the guys at the gate to hold her and take her to the bus so I can hug her again. I showed them a picture and told them what she's like, that was possibly going to far but I've missed her and worried about her so much.

"How are you guys doing this afternoon?" I hear Ashton excitedly scream into the microphone. Everyone cheered and whistled I even saw a few girls cry a bit. My focus wasn't on others long I immediately avert my eyes back to Nicole. She was smiling. I went over to talk to Michael. "You were right," I told him with a huge grin still plastered onto my face. "I know," he laughed turning back towards the crowed who was still screaming. "Can you do me a favor and not tell the fans I'm dating Nicole, I have a plan for next show," I smirk at the idea. "No problem," Michael tells me. "Thanks man," I thanked him before galloping to my mic. I introduced us and told everyone that we would be playing permanent vacation. Ashton and Calum start as usual and Michael and I come in after them. Michael starts singing and the whole place got louder. I kept my eyes on Nicole but I couldn't keep my full attention on her because I would miss my part.

The concert was going great, I could see Nicole smiling so brightly causing me to smile as well. At one point in the concert I saw someone lean over and start talking to Nicole, I could see her smile fail to exist on her face anymore. In fact, she looked like she was about to cry. I saw her and Dottie get up from their seats so in response to this I stop the song that we were playing. "Where are you going?" I asked her in a serious, concerned tone. I see her look at me then Dottie then back at me again with sad eyes. "Why don't you come up on stage?" I asked them, I then did something no one would ever think I would do. I got off the stage to grab Nicole by the hand to take her up on stage. I look at Dottie before proceeding, she gives me a reassuring nod and goes back to her seat.

Once Nicole and I were on stage everyone got up to hug her. "So, uh, tell me, are we boring you?" I asked her giving her a sympathetic closed mouth smile. "Uh, no. I, uh," Nicole staggers on a reason to why she was getting up to leave. "Nicole, is something wrong?" I continued to question her this time draping my arm over her shoulder. Her shoulder felt different, it felt really bony. Then again, she does look thinner than when I last saw her. "N-no," she lies, you can tell, she's being weird about it. "How about this, you can go backstage and sit on that stool there," I then take my mic from my mouth and tell her privately, "like you did at my gigs," I brightened my smile. Nicole nods her head and makes her way to the back. For the rest of the concert I continued to look back at her to see her happily swinging her legs and watching me. I have to admit, I did get a but nervous. The show soon ended, the boys and I said our goodbyes to the crowed and raced backstage to Nicole.

"You came," I stated the obvious with a smile stretching from ear to ear. I hear her giggle and engulf me in a hug. I hugged her back, she definitiley feels more bony. She looks almost like she did when I first met her. Dark circles under her eyes, pale skin, you can barely see life in her. I cup her face in my hands with shock written all over my face. "What have you been doing while I was gone?" I questioned her releasing her face. "Nothing," she tells me shrugging her shoulders. "I can see it in your face, I can feel it when you hug me," I tell her, she can't hide her appearance, she's skill beautiful, she just looks like she's given up. Nicole sighs and looks away causing me to worry. The guys look at us and then walk away talking about FIFA. Nicole watches them leave before slumping down on the ground. I slide down beside her with my legs stretched out and my arms inbetween my knees. I notice Nicole crossing her legs and fiddling with her thumbs in her lap. "No," I abruptly said realizing that she possibly did give up on everything. She looks at me with tears in her eyes and nods her head. "Please," I pleaded to her with tears threatening to fall. "I'm sorry Luke," she whispers, "I never really was better, I mean I felt like I was when I'm with you but," she wipes away the falling tears from her eyes, "I'm honestly a failure," she finishes pulling her legs up to her chest, wrapping her arms around her legs and putting her head in her knees. She looks fragile.

"I," my voice cracked, this time I was wiping away tears. "Luke, I'm sorry," she appologises to me once again leaning against me. "We'll get through this," I conclude with determination and confidence in my voice. Nicole laughed a bit, "thank you," she thanked me which confused me, why would she thank me? "For...?" I trailed off looking down at her. "For being able to literally get me to tell you things that would take people possibly years to get out of me," she explained to me lifting her head to look at me. "It's because I love you," I tell her making her smile. "And also making me feel happiness again," she said before elevating herself up to peck me on the lips. I smiled when she was standing flatfooted on the ground. When Nicole left to go to Dottie who was waiting in the car something struck me about the whole conversation. She was falling apart in front of me and abruptly started giggling at me for trying to comfort her. I think she might've acted the part of being fine when she's not. She's keeping something from me, I hope I'm just paranoid.
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I know I haven't updated in almost a month... Sorry about that. I've been kinda really sad lately and I don't have a whole lot of motivation when I get into the mood in which I just completely wanna throw away my life and be done with it.
Anyways I'm okay now, I think. I hope you've enjoyed this story!