Jayson

Chapter One

"Hey, Haven! I heard you stuff your bra!  So what do you have to say for yourself?  Is it true?" Everybody at the round cafeteria table laughed hysterically as I walked by.  I didn't say anything; I never did.  I was too afraid that they'd find something else to say even more mean and obnoxious.

"You know what, Haven, that shirt you have on is the same shirt I threw away last week, are you sure you didn't dig it from my trash?"  That was Rosaline, the pretty new student who had been my friend for the last three weeks.  Now she was part of the popular crowd, and that meant she couldn't talk to me unless she was being rude.  I lowered my head as I sat at the table next to theirs.  Kerry, Elizabeth, Mike, Jason, Heather, Will, Olivia, and now Rosaline were the in crowd.  At my table, the "dorks and losers" sat together.  

"Hey, there's a tree in the cafeteria! How'd that get here?" Will asked, acting all shocked and surprised.  "Oh, that's Haven's head!  Ha, ha, where'd you learn to do your hair!?" My hair...yeah about that.  It hadn't looked bad when I left the house that morning, but the rain always made it frizzy and poofy.  

"You're so funny," I said, barely audibly, "Just be quiet." 

I had always been a shy girl, never really fitting into a crowd. Things were hard for me.  For most of my short life, all I'd ever known was how to work for the things I wanted, and how to live life wishing I was someone else because nobody wanted me.  I grew up in the only biracial family in a predominantly white neighborhood and living with my white mother, an older sister and younger brother.  There was no one else like us in our entire community.

In the beginning, when what I wore and the way I acted didn't decide my friends, I was what they called "popular"; but as I got older, everything started to change.  I was no longer wanted by my peers.  Kids that used to be my friends started talking about me behind my back.  I guess that's part of what made me so quiet, so insecure...and then I met him. Before I tell you about him, let me first explain the situation that caused us to meet.

My sister, Savannah is only about a year older than me; in fact we could almost pass as twins.  We had always had to share everything: our room, our clothes, our lives!  At first I didn't mind wearing matching outfits, spending hours playing barbie in our room, or even trotting around the neighborhood together, but I was getting to the age where privacy and individuality were very important.  I became the bad girl, always getting into trouble, failing in school, disobeying the rules, destined to be a high school dropout, pregnant by age fifteen (funny that no guys even liked me). My sister on the other hand was mommies perfect little angel, always sweet, always helping out, and always the perfect student in every way.

My mom worked a lot because she was a single parent and my father didn't pay any child support.  Naturally, she was almost never home, and if she was, she was usually too busy trying to make enough money to feed us that she couldn't spend quality time with us kids.  Don't think that my mother was bad or neglectful; she only did what she knew how and she did it the best that she could. I can tell you that I turned out okay enough.

Savannah and I fought about little things, and in those last few days before I met the guy, I decided that I'd had enough.  Normally when my sister and I would fight, my mom would stop us and tell us how foolish we were. Later, Savannah and I would make up and forget about it. Lately though, mother hadn't been home when we'd fight, and so one day, I just started leaving. I knew that I'd be in the worst kind of trouble if my mother ever found out, but I was more than willing to take my chances.  Walking away from my problems was beginning to be quite a habit of mine.

Sometimes I'd go to a popular ice cream hang out about a ten minute walk away, or to my friend's house around the corner.  That day, however, I went to a park near my house. I wanted to be alone and I figured that 'd be the best place to go because not too many people went there. There were millions of other things to do, like play basketball, go see a movie, or play on a team at school - anything better than sitting at a park alone.

I remember this particular day like it was yesterday.  I walked down the street quickly, unable to understand my sorry, miserable life.  I had turned eleven nearly a month ago, but nothing had changed. I didn't feel or look any older, I hadn't gotten any prettier in the least, and I was still an unpopular geek at school.  

As I turned the corner to the park, I noticed that I wouldn't be the only one there.   There was a group of kids there, older kids, and they were laughing and having fun.  I almost started to run away and go someplace else, but after wondering where else I could go, I changed my mind and sat down.  I sat at a picnic table in the shade behind some large oak trees, and hoped that I hadn't been seen.

There were five kids: four guys and a girl. I was envious of the girl for being cool enough to be alone with four guys, because I sure wasn't.  I listened to them laughing and talking, and wished that it were me sitting there with them.

"Ow, Sean, stop it!!" the girl screeched, giggling crazily.

They all laughed and then the boy replied, "Come on Kimm, don't be a wimp!" Sean replied, gently yanking on her hair.

"Yeah, Kimmie, don't be the big wimp we know you are! You guys all know Kimmie is a girl, but she thinks she's a boy, don't you Kimmie? Another boy said, teasingly.

"I am not a wimp, mister, so beat it before I beat you!" Kimm smugly replied, grinning victoriously and pushing the two boys away.

I laughed to myself, lowering my head.  Kimmie, I thought, would make a great friend, but she'd never like me.  With her Jennifer Lawrence looks she could seriously be a model.  No girl like that could ever be a friend of mine.  Two of the boys looked so much alike that I couldn't tell which one was Sean.  The other two seemed very contrasting.  One was extremely tall and had black hair, perfect to match his black jeans, black shirt, and black shoes. The other boy, with blonde hair wasn't as tall, in his faded blue jeans; he wore no shirt at all.

I'd been in a daze for a while when I I was startled by a muffled cough.  I  looked up and found a boy standing in front of me.  It was the boy with no shirt on.  What could he possibly want with me?!  I wondered to myself.  Looking up at him, he seemed taller than I'd thought and definitely older, with brownish-blonde hair and green eyes.  He looked at me, searching my face, and then he asked, "Hi.  Do you always sit alone in dark places?"

I smiled back, but only a half smile so he wouldn't see my buckteeth. "Hi," I uttered stupidly.  He walked around to my side of the table and moved my leg off the bench.  

"Mind if I sit down?" He took a seat next to me while I stared pathetically in awe and fascination, unable to speak.  "My name is Jayson.  That's Jayson with a y after the a.  You can call me Jay-B for Jayson Brenton, Jay-D for Jayson Doherty, or just Jayson."  He laughed.  He had a nice laugh, so relaxed and carefree.  "What's your name?"

"Haven," I replied shyly.

"Oh, Haven, huh?  Pretty name, Haven with no last name."

"I have a last name," I said quickly, feeling foolish about the way I was acting. "It's Atwood."

"Well Haven Atwood, come on, let me introduce you to my friends."

He grabbed my hand and began taking me over to the swing set where his friends still stood laughing.  I had never been with a boy before and I was embarrassed that I would end up doing something so stupid that they'd all end up hating me.