Jayson

Chapter 7

Saturday morning came slowly, but it finally arrived. I woke early and lied awake in bed imagining how everything was going to play out as my sister lay in the bed beside mine reading a romance novel. I rehearsed my reaction to Jayson telling me we were over and cried real tears each time. I practiced what I would say to him, but wasn't satisfied with anything that came out of my mouth. In all honesty, I knew that I would never be able to say the things I wanted or felt to his face. I eventually, took my theatrics into the bathroom while I started getting ready and looked at myself as if I was having a conversation with him, so I could see how stupid I looked when I was crying, trying to convince myself that I wasn't going to let myself cry and then that I just was not to let myself cry! The ugly cry face was a pretty convincing reason to not get all teary eyed and snotty faced.

I did some chores around the house, mostly sweeping the living room carpet (yes, sweeping it; we had no vacuum) and dusting the furniture. I couldn't believe it when I asked my mom if I could go to the park and she said yes! That was an unexpected surprise! I hurriedly made myself presentable, without giving away the fact that I was trying to "look cute". I put on a pair of blue jean shorts and a black tight fitting top. I slipped my feet into a pair of white sandals, quickly becoming aware that my toes were in no condition to be seen, and opted for a pair of knock off Keds instead.

When it was time to go, I didn't think I could have tried any harder not to run, but I was so eager to be there, to see Jayson face to face, that it was impossible not to break into a jog every so often on the way. As I got closer to the park, the swings came into view and my heart accelerated. Suddenly, I was feeling nervous, emotional, afraid and I had to stop at the top of the hill to get myself together. I checked my watch and noticed it was already after twelve. I scanned the park until at last I spotted him, standing with his back facing me. I knew it was him, because of his stature, but also because of his immaculately styled sandy blonde hair. He ran a hand through it as he laughed and glanced back my way. I saw the recognition cross his face as his eyes met mine and I slowly moved toward him, hesitantly, cautiously. But he ran to me and wrapped me in a tight hug. I wished at the moment I could have melted into his arms, but my body was rigid because I was so scared.

"Oh my God, I have missed your face so much, girl!" He exclaimed.

I smiled, lowering my head to hide it.

Before long, Sean came running up and wrapped his arms around the both of us. "Group hug!" he said, laughing.

"Hi, Sean!" I said, giggling.

"What is up, sweet girl!? How the hell have you been?"

"Haven! Yo!" Josh chimed in, as he and Jesse caught up with us. "Damn girl, give me a hug," he continued. "I feel like it's been forever since I saw your little face!"

"You look so big!" Jesse chimed in, sweeping me up in a bear hug and spinning around to the point he lost his balanced and we toppled over into the grass. "Definitely heavier!" he yelped from beneath me.

They all laughed as Jess climbed to his feet holding out a hand to help me up.

"Who said you could grow up?" He asked.

"Me," I replied, smugly.

I was so glad to see them all again, and for a minute, I almost forgot that Kimm was no longer with us. It felt weird, being the only girl, getting all the attention. I didn't like it nearly as much as I'd thought I would when I used to watch Kimm hold her own with these crazy guys. It was so natural for her. She was stunning and fit right in. I wasn't anything worth looking at and it felt odd being in her shoes. It was almost like she was Cinderella and I was one of her wicked stepsisters trying to fill her shoes with my ugly feet.