I Can't Quit You (Frerard)

Lie To Me



(Frank's POV)

"Forget about the dirty looks, the photographs your boyfriend took. You said you read me like a book, but the pages are all torn and frayed." Gerard sang into his microphone as we were playing I'm Not Okay (I Promise). Well we are currently on our Projekt Revolution tour, and our tour has brought us to our home state of New Jersey, and we're playing in Hoboken. And as we were playing and as I was putting every ounce of my being into the set as I did with all of our shows, I realized something....I'm not okay. And I'm not saying that cause of the song, I'm really not okay. Why you ask? Well it's kind of a long story, but if you must know, let me tell you.

I'm in a band called My Chemical Romance. I joined the band when I was 20, and it's my favorite band. My best friends name is Gerard. I met him when he was 24. We've been best friends for 9 years, and I've been hopelessly in love with him from the moment I laid eyes on him. He was on the chubby side when I met him, and I could tell he was self conscious about his weight and appearance, where as I don't give a good flying fuck of what anyone else things about me. But there was something I saw in him that was just so beautiful to me.....He's just amazed and inspired me every day since then.

Anyways, for the past 9 years, Gerard and I have had a complicated kind of set up, in which we don't date, but we fool around a lot...I guess you could say it as we're or actually was friends with benefits. But all we've done was fool around like makeouts, groping, dry humping, handjobs, blowjobs, and on certain occasions, some eating out....If you know what I mean. But when we lived in this haunted mansion to record our Black Parade album, that's when Gerard and I went all the way and slept together one night when Ray, Bob, and Mikey weren't there. We didn't plan it, they left, and Gerard and I just started talking and then talking led to making out, then making out led to us having sex in the room him and I shared. And it wasn't rough sex or anything, it was sweet and beautiful...It was the best night of my life. Knowing I made love to the love of my life, it just...Words can't be invented to describe how it made me feel.

Then after we finished, I finally told Gerard I was in love with him...He didn't say it back, but he asked if he could have some time to think, which I gave him, cause I didn't wanna rush him. But then after that night, we kinda grew apart for a while. We barely did any of our Stage Gay, we didn't talk much, hell we barely even looked at each other, and it scared the hell out of me...I thought I fucked things up between us, but nooooo Gerard pulled a total 180 and got engaged to some psycho named Eliza. They weren't even dating, and SHE'S FUCKING NUTS! she wrote a bunch of fanfics about her and Gerard being together, and hr didn't even like her! Actually, she annoyed the hell out of him, but he didn't wanna be mean and tell her to fuck off, like I would've. Hell, she even moved in with Gerard's little brother, Mikey, just so she could get closer to Gerard.

But then he dumped her crazy ass and rumors are, she's in a psych hospital somewhere. After Wanda Wacko was out of the picture, Gerard and I got close again, and I was hopeful that this time, we could actually be together and that he loved me like I love him. But then again my luck is fucking horseshit, and Gerard started dating a girl named LynZ, who plays Bass for a band called Mindless Self Indulgence. And they only dated for a few weeks, before getting married...They got married a couple days ago, I think (Can't really remember exactly, I've been crying my eyes out, so I can't exactly keep track of time.) So in general I have fooled around and slept with my best friend, he got engaged to Coocoo for Cocoa Puffs, dumped her, came back to me, then got married to a girl he's known for 5 minutes, than be with someone he's known and has been best friends with for 9 years...So now I'm once again heart broken, and pretty pissed off. AND HE DIDN'T EVEN BOTHER TELLING ME OR MIKEY THAT HE WAS GETTING MARRIED!! AND MIKEY IS HIS BROTHER FOR CHRIST'S FUCKING SAKE! I found out from Ray an hour before they got married, backstage, at one of our shows...Oh yeah, cause that's not fucking suspicious.

"But you really need to listen to me, because I'm telling you the truth, I mean it, I'M OKAY!" Instead of me saying 'trust me' like I do in the song, I looked right at Gerard, put my lips to my mic, and said "Lie to me." Then I mouthed 'I'm not o-fucking-kay!' At him. It threw him off for a second, but he regained himself and continued with the song. Then I looked over at him and he was giving me the code we made for blowjobs, but I ignored him. Then he came over a little and did the code again, then did some other sexual gesture, but I scoffed and shook my head. When we finished the song, Gerard was hugging and high-fived the guys, even kissing Mikey's temple, before he got to me. He brought his lips to my ear and whispered "We need to talk." Before kissing the side of my head. Then the guys grabbed their stuff and started walking off the stage, along with me, so Gerard could finish the show with Cancer. As beautiful as his voice always sounded when he sung this song, it made my heart break just a little more now.

Ray motioned me to come with them, but I shook my head no and pointed over to a spot where some of our equipment was sitting, motioning that I was gonna sit and watch Gerard. Ray gave me a worried look and was about to open his mouth to say something, but closed it and nodded. Ray's a good friend...Unlike some people, not naming names. When they left, I signed and sat down on the floor, up against one of the equipment carts, and just watched him.

"Turn away,
If you could get me a drink
Of water 'cause my lips are chapped and faded.
Call my aunt Marie,
Help her gather all my things
And bury me in all my favorite colors,
My sisters and my brothers, still,
I will not kiss you,
'Cause the hardest part of this is leaving you.."

His voice is so beautiful, yet the words stab at my heart...I don't think I've ever been hurt so much in my life, and I used to get sick all the time, and was bullied in high school!

"Now turn away,
'Cause I'm awful just to see
'Cause all my hairs abandoned all my body,
Oh, my agony.
Know that I will never marry,
Baby, I'm just soggy from the chemo.
But counting down the days to go,
It just ain't living!
And I just hope you know.."

Know that I'll never marry, yeah, bullshit.

"That if you say (if you say)
Goodbye today (goodbye today)
I'd ask you to be true (cause I'd ask you to be true)

'Cause the hardest part of this is leaving you.
'Cause the hardest part of this is leaving you..."

That's when I realized I couldn't sit here anymore, cause I was fighting not to cry, and I wasn't about to let him see me cry. So when I got up and grabbed my baby, Pansy, my water bottle, and a towel for my sweaty head, I looked up and saw Gerard spotted me...And he didn't know I was there. I muttered "Shit!" Then turned on my heel and stormed off away from the stage and away from him, completely ignoring him calling my name.