Fallen Angels [DISCONTINUED]

April III

Revenge of the Nerd  

"Like a small boat on the ocean, sending big waves into motion; like how a single word can make a heart open; I might only have one match, but I can make an explosion."

-Rachel Platten Fight Song

I'm gonna need a large span of time set apart to pray to the good Lord after going to this party, even if we're just here to wreck it, not actually (God forbid) join in the merriment.

Unfortunately for me, we all drove to Skylar's party in Hope's freaking "Batmobile." Spoiler alert: It's not really the Batmobile, as much as we all wish it was. Instead of a sleek and swanky black super-car, we rode to the party in Hope's ancient maroon family van with ripped, nappy seats and a faint aroma of lasagna.  As a form of repentance for the deed we were about to do, I offered myself up as sacrifice to sit in the passenger seat- BIG. MISTAKE.

Y'know that disgusting piece of omelette that I ate this morning? Let's just say that the bit that used to be in my stomach is now sitting in Skylar's bushes in a significantly more gelatinous form. Ugh.

It's not so much that Hope's a bad driver, it's more that she can't actually SEE where she's going. Allow me to elaborate. If you face the "Batmobile" head-on, (which I do not recommend, for the sake of your continued good health) only a few stray, static-filled strands of blond hair are visible above the dashboard, even when Hope uses a booster seat. The story of Hope actually gaining her driver's license is humorous, to say the least, and involves multiple booster seats, a pair of REALLY high heels, and lots and lots of pillows to sit on top of.

Anyhow, the car ride is over now (thank goshness) and we're splitting up into groups of two. My partner? Kateri. Our assignment? To dye the pool in Skylar's backyard. The problem? Melody bought us food dye and temporary hair color from Walgreens to do the job.

Now, I don't know if you've ever seen food dye, but each bottle is pretty small, and it isn't exactly easy to squeeze out the entire bottle quickly. So before we can even begin, that's out. The hair dye has a gel-like consistency, and might work, but there's no knowing until we try  it. I'm standing right outside of Skylar's front door, a place I can honestly say I never expected to end up, attempting to devise an alternate way to dye the pool when Kateri taps me on the shoulder, motioning that it's time to go inside. I nod, and proceed to stroll right into the home of my archnemesis.

Instantly, the stench of beer barely masked by expensive perfume reaches me. The awful odor combines with the musk of hastily bought cologne and gives me the desire to run to the bathroom and scrub the smell out of my nostrils. I long for the yummy vanilla-cinnamon scent of home. It is at this moment that I realize we have made a terrible mistake.

But no matter. We have a job to do. Kateri and I quickly steal past the teenagers huddled around the entrance and slip quietly into the backyard, which mainly consists of an enormous infinity pool ringed by a tile patio and tall, resort-like queen palms which gently sway in the evening breeze. For someplace so awful, it does a good job of disguising itself as paradise.

Barely anyone notices us, but I still feel a tad self-concious in my dress. Aster insisted that we had to "blend in with the natives so as not to get caught." I think she was just looking for an excuse to wear her new hot pink Lauren Conrad dress. Regardless, she made the rest of us dress up as well. I'm outfitted in a deep blue floral romper, which surprisingly doesn't look half bad on me, but it has pretty much no back and I'm used to having a little more fabric on my body. It's Kateri and Rose that look the most uncomfortable, though. They both just borrowed clothes from Aster's closet and their dresses are loud and short. Luckily, Hope, Mel, and I got out of having to wear something of Aster's because we're all too, ah, vertically challenged.